Hopes and Fears for 2010

Wow- that sounds profound.

Fears:

• My parents yearly migration to Florida-- it is hard watching your parents age and worrying about them.
• We wont be accepted into the foster/adoption program
• Our furnace will blow
• My brothers health declining. He can't seem to get it together.. and I think his strokes have messed with his mental health. Is that possible?
• I will be that one who breaks down in the middle lane of traffic in the morning rush hour without my cell phone in the middle of winter.

Hopes:

• I am successful with the Couch 2 5K program I am starting January 4th.
• Michelle will move up within her company
• I will become a mom
• Getting more debt paid off
• We get a new bed set that I don't have to a) lob myself two feet in the air to get up on and b) go sideways between the dresser and the foot board to get around to my side. The set is JA-NORMUS and our room is itty bitty.
• Good health
• I find more new friends
• I learn how to cook
• I will be less puffy

I am sure there are more of both. I just can't seem to think right now. I have Big Boss flittering around this damn place all freaked out because we don't have any calls at the moment. He is convinced that this is a downward spiral and he is about to lose everything. Drama mama. Little does he know that I am wishing this silence upon us so we don't have to be here all day on the 31st. Since he has shunned all of his family and friends, and only has Blonde Ambition and the "friends" (read: people he can use and that can use him for their/his money) through the boards he belongs to-- and doesn't have a social life .... he just wouldn't understand NOT wanting to be here.

I don't know how many more times he can come up to me and show me the 2x4 pieces of wood he is cutting down in the basement. I don't know WHY he is cutting them.... and I think he is getting frustrated that I am not asking questions about the pieces of wood. In my head his frustration with me makes me giggle.

ho.ho.I am over it.

Phew. I am very glad that the holiday is all wrapped up. harhar. I did have a FANTASTIC time, though.

Some of the best times happened yesterday at my parents. We spent the WHOLE DAY there. It had all of the makings of one of those... 'I gotta get out of here before I rip my brother-in-laws eyes out of his head' .. kinda days. I am happy to report that it didn't cross my mind (until 2.4 minutes before we were about to leave.. and thankfully I was already walking out of the door). We brought the wii and OMG I never knew that a video game could bring so much fun to a family gathering. We laughed SO HARD...

We sledded, sang, ate, wii'd, ate, drank wine, opened gifts, laughed, drank wine...then drank coffee.

The my sisters and their families all brought their sleeping bags and had a big slumber party. It was definitely something I feel like we are missing out on by not having a child. Here is to hoping that will change soon.

2010 is going to be a big year!

I have lost direction of this post.

I need to go to bed and stop thinking about the horror that is going to be work tomorrow.

Keep your damn hands off of it!

We get lots of loot around here during the holidays. People showing appreciation for our business. Casket companies, vault companies, monument companies, restaurants, newspapers... all that jazz. They come in, give me a large box of something or another, and I VERY QUICKLY run (shuffle) it to the kitchen, take the wrapping off and open the box of whatever it may be. I breath a sigh of relief.... another one saved.

If I don't do this... Big Boss confiscates it and re-gifts it.

ohmygoshiamsorry-- did I mention HE IS A MILLIONAIRE???

Uhhhh. yeah.

A few days ago the very nice old man from the stone place comes in with a stack of boxes.... all sorts of cheese, nuts, cookies, baklava... all in s.e.p.e.r.a.t.e boxes. I FLEW with that stack, breathing hard, like I was uncovering a buried treasure... I thought that by simply removing the ribbon that held it boxes together in a nice tower and laying all the small boxes out on the counter so everyone could share, would be enough. IT WASN'T. I just asked another co-worker if she got any of it. She didn't. Big Boss took the small boxes... some of them containing such things as A SQUARE OF CHEDDAR CHEESE.. and he has been giving them out as gifts.

Every Christmas this happens.

One company got smart. They brought all of their gifts wrapped, and on the INSIDE of the gift was a business card taped to the product.

They had been informed of Big Bosses re-gifting scheme.

He got busted out big time that year when he gave road side emergency bags out with business cards of vaults plastered all over them..... to his family.

*muuuuaaahahhahahhaaaa*

Normally I would think this was funny-- and, granted, I kinda do. But when restaurants give gift certificates specifically for the funeral directors and he takes them for his own... .. there is something wrong with that.

Karma, mister--- it's gonna GETCHA!

blech.

Ultrasound done.

What I believe should be pre-requests for ultrasound techs that stick things up a woman's vag:
Don't be 22, size 4, adorable, and fit.

I want someone at least 10 years older then me, larger then me, and doesn't chit chat about my plans for Christmas.

Just in and out. ..And inandoutandinandout... AHAHA... sorry.. couldn't resist.

The holidays

I am really excited about the holidays this year. We haven't decorated. We have made most presents. We are hosting a non-christmas-christmas (day) with Chinese food and wii and no presents being exchanged. Just my sister, her fam, Mic and I. The day after Christmas day we are out to my parents house with the whole fam-damly for hard rolls and ham and then off to the pool and spa. Back home for a very casual dinner and white elephant.

Sunday will be all ours. No packing decorations, no getting ready for a new years eve party (for the first time in 4 years).

Yesterday I went to the doctor for a check up on my meds. Unfortunately I have been having some side effects that I mentioned in a few posts prior. I explained the things that were happening to my body... no period... bloat in my abdomen.. zits like a pubescent boy with the facial hair to prove it. She looked at me and said... are you pregnant? I laughed.. no. I am not. She was sad. I love my doctor. I had lots of blood drawn yesterday and go in for an ultrasound tomorrow on me ovaries.

I am sure everything will be fine.

She spoke of things like hormone imbalances, PCOS etc.

The more I learn about simple, pretty darn easy to fix hormone imbalances... the more I wonder how many women have this and it is one of the main reasons we have such difficulty getting pregnant.

I read a really good book about it... and it is SO INTERESTING how so many doctors just brush it aside-- and SO SO MANY WOMEN SUFFER from it.

How many of us have been on Accutane (ME) (or other meds that in the long run effect our women junk), eats processed food (ME), has a family history of hormone imbalance (ME) .... and guess what this all effects.... pregnancy, or lacking the ability to GET pregnant (or makes it really hard).

We, as females, need to force our doctors into exploring this. And down the road, hormone imbalances can lead to SO MANY MORE THINGS.

Only one of them being the ever sexy female beard, that I am so close to perfecting.

h-o-t.

Just sayin' .

EDIT: my friend just told me I may have to get a wand up me hoo-haa. um. is this true? Do most ultrasound people have experience at this??!?!? UGGGHHH.

Why not?

Why not spend way too much money on phones right before Christmas ...yeah that's what I thought



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Scrunchie face

For the 2.4 of you that are on my facebook- you will know that for the last three days, I have been "thinking positive" in attempt to break this funk-o-rama.

THREE WHOLE DAYS. Slap me sainthood, people! Really? As I typed that it was almost like it has been martyr ish for me. No. It hasn't. In fact.. by simply waking up in the morning and not starting my day complaining about going to work and instead, thanking the universe for a job, a warm bed, and an amazing woman to wake up next to....is starting to help my blues go away. I get to work and greet everyone with a smile and a good morning. I haven't been responding to the negative nancy here.. when she starts her yabba dabba doin' I just look at her with a small grin on my face, and then go back to work.

Simple simple simple.

I have even noticed how much I scrunch my face. Not like... old woman meets sour apple. Just a slight scrunch. Just enough that I can feel it. So, I just sorta smile/grin/turn up the sides of my mouth. The corner of my eyes go up, my forehead shifts slightly back, and I just FEEL BETTER. It is so strange.

For the last three days, Mic has noticed as well. I have also insisted we eat together at the table, no tv, no nothing.. just us.. talking. Habits scare the freak out of me. I have told her time and time again that I don't want to turn into that couple who sits in front of the tv every night and .. well.. SITS IN FRONT OF THE TV EVERY NIGHT. Ew. That scares me to death. Because you know what is next? That couple that goes out to dinner and doesn't say a word to one another. YIKES!

I think this is a good way to end the year, and to greet the new year.

I just

don't have that much to say.

I have been in this really odd "place" as of late. It is a mix of anxiousness,.... really really highs and sorta lows-ish. I have had no desire to be close to Mic, or anyone else. I haven't confided in friends, and really feel that I only have a couple I can go to and would feel as if they were wanting the best for me and our friendships.

I have been trying to keep my spirits up at work, get things done around the house and prepare for the holidays. It all seems to be a struggle.

Highs:

• I got my running shoes, and I am excited to test them out... and hope I wont make too many heads turn when this big bidnizz starts lightly jogging *BAM BAM BAM BAM..ect..*
• I figured out my "homemade" gift for the fam's this year-- I will post when I have one to show.
• We are hosting no portions of christmas gatherings this year. Which means money saved and no decorations around the house!
  

I am done with this pity parade. Time to think positive, do the things I need to do to get me through this 'blech' .

can I?

I emailed my wonderful sister who is one of the owners of Lake Park Swim and Fitness is going to put together a 12 week program for me to get to my goal. She said it is going to be really hard-- but I told her I at least want to TRY it!!!! I found a 5k that is in March right before the big St. Patrick's Day parade - so I can have a beer as I lay on the cot for the ambulance..:) harhar.

Are there any runners out there.. or.. fast walkers.. or those who can at least make it around without cramping?

Any advice?

I hope this is do-able!! I REALLY do!!!

Still fat!

to review.... on my 36th birthday I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Since then I have been on a medication that, apparently, I will have to take forever.

Problem?

I have not had my period since that time (Oct. 22) and my stomach is bloated.

I am freaking out, and I am going to call the doctor tomorrow.

Other news? Still a fattie. Mic's awesome new place of employment who treats her SO much better then I can even imagine being treated at a job... is having a B*ggst Loser competition starting January 1st through March 1st... they have yoga and pilates and walking and all kinds of classes they are offering at work and of course diet help.

The three of us are going to join her in this.

Time for a f-ing kick in the ARSE.

I am looking forward to it... Rebecca will be our sanity, I am sure. We will actually USE the club we belong to and have been paying for and is (FAR) less then 1 mile over there ----->.

After watching TBL last night (we dvr), I decided that we are also going to run a 5K by the time March 1st comes around. I know that people think-- that is NO BIG DEAL.. 5K?? that is like... 3miles.. I could do that in my sleep. Well, peeps, I couldn't run from here to the corner without having to fake a shin splint so I could walk (even in my sleep).

We can do this.

I am laying out the ground rules to her tonight.. it is NOT a competition.. we are here to support one another. It isn't about who loses the most the fastest, how fast one person can run.... it is about TEAMWORK.

Gotta run! (er.. walk moderately quickly)

right now.

it is 7:13 and I sit here in my robe.

granted, I am showered.....

I have to be to work at 8:00.


I am going to talk to Blonde Ambition today about El Snoro. Not everything-- just the part about him wanting me to give him a credit card number so he could pay for some things online. Uh. Yeah. Okey. Sure, I would be HAPPY to give that to you Mr. Theytookyourcreditcardawaybecauseyouwouldchargepizzasandmoviesonit. SUUREEE lemme hand that right over Mr. Obviouslyabusingsomesortofdrug. BRB I will even write it down for you!

uh.

It has gotten weird at the funeral hizzy.... I am going to shake it up even more, yo!

*aaahh*

We are back and had an AWESOME time! We made the train down to Chicago by the skin of our teeth....it was a packed train! I LOVED every moment of it. I could seriously sit there to people watch and listen in on conversations ALL DAY.

We made our way to the Shedd Aquarium where we had to battle the crowds of their busiest weekend of the year, apparently. Thank goodness it was a BEAUTIFUL day out and we could wait in the hour long line in the sunshine..



It was really cool! I would like to go back on a day without 40392344 little kids smearing their hands all over every single piece of glass in the joint... but, I took it for what it was, and felt sorry for the parents who were dealing with 192 degrees and recirculated air. Little stagnant. Michelle loved the Beluga Whales..
You can see her face in the reflection of the glass.. this was the "under water view" of them...

We spent many hours walking around the Shedd, then walked out into an equally beautiful night in the city.
I think it is hilarious, that because we travel alone, 97% of our photos are arm length self portraits. They don't turn out the greatest... but it proves we were both THERE. :)

We headed back to the burbs on the train, where in front of us, there was a single young blonde sitting, and by god, a dark haired sporty dyke took the seat next to her on the crowded train. Of course I was all up in the kool-aide.. and I SWEAR it was ADORABLE watching the dark haired one trying to get the blondes story. Then the blonde had to get off at her stop.... Tear. It had all the works of a lesbo love story..... *sigh*... the best (or worst--whatev) part came when the blonde got off the train, and then the dark haired one made a phone call...and she was promptly dumped over the phone. Ouch!

What I continue to find odd about the train-- is how many people just crack beers while riding..like..eh.. I have 30 min. I think I am going to pack some millers in my purse just in case I get thirsty. Normal everyday Joes and Janes...crackin' cold ones. Do people do that on the bus, too?

Yes. I love people watching and conversation dipping THAT MUCH. Don't judge.

That night we had dinner at JJ Twigs... 'lish!

While we go on our weekends down to the city, we stay in the Hotel Indigo... I love it there.. they have Aveda products!


On Sunday it was rainy and cold... perfect weather for an afternoon at Ikea! We got a new picture for the living room and once again my candles and dinner napkins are fully stocked!

When we made our way back, we decided to hit a joint that was featured on The Food Network's Diners Drive-in's and D*ves - I had the BEST salmon I have EVER had.



Home again home again, jiggity jig!

A stir in the hizzy...

Rebecca's mom, grandma and sister are here for the weekend. It was AWESOME hearing them all chitter chatter and laugh in the house last night.

This gives Mic and I an opportunity to head on down to Illinois, park our car and jump on a train to Chicago. We are going to visit the aquarium... which is a million dollars to get in-- it better be worth it! And then we are going to bum around- spend the night near the race track out in the burbs and hit I*kea tomorrow!

After a week of her being sick, laying on the couch and do-do talking -- I am ready to go have some FUN!

I informed her last night that my leniency on the do-do talking is over. If she wants to have sex at some point this weekend, it stops now. Woah... that WORKED! I didn't hear do-do talking for the rest of the night :)

Have a great weekend all!

rain.

It is raining again.

It's like I am in Forks.

* tee hee *

You want me to find WHO?

So, I just watched Find M* Fam*ly.

Did anyone else see it?

I am not really sure about this show. Not only the fact they were in Brookfield and it looked like a ho-dunk farm town. I am sitting in Brookfield as I type. I can't tell you where one farm is.

I had troubles when the host said to the birth parents of Jennie... "you have a grandchild!"
And then to the birth parents children... "you are aunts and uncles!" I was thinking-- wait.. they JUST MET. It takes a lot to make a family...

Perhaps I am being a bit harsh? It was good, though- that at the end, Jennie said.. "well, I don't know where this is going".. and I thought it was nice that Jennies mom would tuck her in and they would say 'thank you' for bringing Jennie to their family.

It kind of just pushed the adopted parents out of the picture.

I dunno.

Thoughts?

Things...

Well, I am sucking at this 30 in November deal. I have time to catch up-- I am always stronger in the end, anyways. Whatever that means.... I think it means that I have always been able to cover my ass.

I have found my new crack.. stumbleupon dot com OMGZ. Go. Now. Just GO. It is just what a girl with a boring job needs. Sign up for free, check off your interests, and go "stumbling" and you are directed to all kinds of websites you never knew existed. Then you can "like" them... and you will then have records of where you went and go back to the ones you like! It is a god send.

Turkey day is about to sneak up on us. This year has flown by! Holiday's are always a bit of a struggle in my head. I want to much for Mic and I to have traditions when it comes to holidays... but as great as it is, at the same time, it is sometimes inconvenient to have two families that want to spend time with us on the holidays. So. For Thanksgiving and Easter we go our own ways. For Christmas Eve we spend it with her family and on Christmas day we are with mine. I honestly wish we had a large enough house to have everyone over. That would be my dream. Everyone can bring something... we will host. Over. Done. No more figuring out where we are going... how is everyone getting there? How long will it last because what if the weather is bad and we have to drive all the way back? Is so and so going to be there, what if he drinks too much brandy? UGH. Kinda over it. Though, Thanksgiving is one of my favorites because we can just go and be kinda casual. No gifts... just being thankful for blessings. GIFTS are overrated. UGH. Don't even get me started on that topic.

My "thankful" over the last 12 months.

• Mic is employed
• Domestic partnership
• Domestic partnership benefits at Mic's new employment
• Rebecca
• New friendships
• Medical diagnosis
• One more year. I am blessed as many people don't make it to 36
• My job
• My parents health
• My parents acceptance
• Organization

I probably will continue with this list as we get closer to thanksgiving... and it may come in handy when I need more entries to get to 30. See. I cover my arse.

--

Healing prayers to Jude.... The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. Once you choose hope, anything is possible.

Coupl'a questions

So.. I have been trying to find more blogs to read outside the TTC community as I am no longer TTC. I am just looking for lesbo blogs, plain ol' lesbos that are funny, have families.. or not.. whatev. I am not dissing my blogging roots, just expanding.

What are your favorites?

Also.. remember El Snoro, the boss that sleeps half the day? Well the scoop is that he has debt out the wazoo and, since I answer the phones here, I take all of his collection calls. I take their names, numbers and where they are calling from and post that information under his name on a huge tack board.

A few things have crossed my mind.... First and foremost I don't judge because I, too, have had issues with debt. Many of us have! But dear god if I EVER had anyone call me at my WORK?!?! No way jose. I would be HORRIFIED!!! And then to have this information posted under my name?? I would put an end to that ASAP! He sees the notes and does this fake "my story is bogus so I am talking too loud" thing, as if I am an idiot and actually think that Capital 1 is calling to offer him a loan...it is along the same lines as the "I am lying... so I am fake yawning" thing (please tell me I am not the only one who knows about these dead giveaways!). 2nd.. I have WORKED in collections. (yes. it sucked.) Doing collections on everything from health club membership dues to hospital bills to actually having to go hunt down people and TAKE THEIR CARS. Yes. Me. I did that. Sorry. So, I know that in the state of Wisconsin you can tell them to stop calling your work... and they can't call your work. simple.

My question is WWYGD? What would you gals do? Would you approach El Snoro and ask him to tell his creditors to stop calling work as it is easily up to 7 or 8 times a day on most days. Or, would you continue your post it note mosaic of messages on the tack board?

ps. I am sorry if my grammar sucks in my posts.... I am usually doing them in several segments so my internetting goes under Blonde Ambitions radar. I don't ALWAYS have the grammatical talents of a 3rd grader.

our path

I took the idea from Earth*Ocean*Baby to write down my path.. my story about how I got to where I am right now.

I thought it would be a good idea.. I have lots of of great stories... but after I wrote and wrote about college and friends and relationships and how I came back to Milwaukee and then meeting Mic- I realized that I am FAR more interested in hearing other peoples life stories. I always have been the person that asks a lot of questions... without fear... because people ALWAYS answer. I love it! I love hearing what people think and why and "what happened then"... laugh with them at the great endings or cry at the sad outcomes... Not because I am going to judge them... but because I love how similar peoples lives are, how we can really LEARN from other peoples mistakes and A+ decisions. How we weave these webs....

I have ALWAYS wanted to go into counseling of some sort. I truly believe it was my calling. I think that is why people can open up to me... I feel SO LUCKY that people feel comfortable around me.... My mom talked me out of that major when I was going off to school and my dad talked me into business. Ew. That was the completely wrong direction from the path that I should have taken.

I often wonder about going back... and wish there were some sort of "short cut" of that I had the inside scoop on some AWESOME job that doesn't take as much schooling as traditionally would be needed for counseling.

I am rambling....my brain is in a million different directions...my lists are long right now, and I can't seem to focus on completion of any task on them. We have a busy weekend ahead of us. Tomorrow I am meeting Amy half way between here and there :) and we are going to have fish and a glass of wine and talk talk talk talk.. I can't WAIT! Saturday Mo and Greg are coming down for a fondue and wine party at a friends house... that should be a hoot...(I am SO ready to GO TO a party instead of hosting one) then the cherry on top, a Sunday with my girl.. aaahhh.

Stolen

from CJ over at Don't Lick the Ferrets.

Because I feel as if I am entering a pms related funk. Step away from the bloated girl with a big zit on her nose... she might eat you if you at all resemble a Reese's peanut butter cup.

Outside my window is a parking lot full of little hippy landscaper workers all bundled up in winter gear decorating the building of my employment.

I am thinking about microderm abrasion and laser hair removal.

I am thankful for every moment. They are all blessings... even the kinda shitty ones. Literally.

I am wearing trouser socks that are too tight. Don't worry- I have clothes on too... the usual.. grey and black. That seems to be what my wardrobe consists of.

I am remembering today has been a road down memory lane for me... thinking about past relationships, old friends, times gone by.. thinking about the different places and situations my life has ended up in.

I am reading Jillian Michaels "Mastering Your Metabolism" VERY interesting.. but I am ready for some mushy love story.

On my mind "its 2:22...sonofa.... it's ONLY TWO TWENTY TWO. Should I even HAVE lunch now? I wonder how long microderm abrasion takes? Probably not as long as this meme"


Pondering these words How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. – Wayne Dyer (from Dyke Evolutions blog) I dig it.

From the kitchen what? What from the kitchen? I don't get this one.. From the Kitchen I am imagining that hot Latino doctor from Grey's Anatomy bringing me my lunch? hm.

Around the house is lots of love... and laughter.... and dog hair.

headache.

I can't get rid of it.

It might be all the fake work I have been doing (at work) while waiting to get busy again. Life isn't easy going when there is NOTHING GOING ON. I can only fake make up more forms (that we already have)....or fake look through file cabinets trying to find a fake dead person's file.... for a fake reason.

I wish I had something really great to blog about tonight. Instead, my head is pounding... and I am just going to go to bed.

love

when stuff like this happens..

Mic and I were walking through a large box store in the area... and I pointed out some super cute little kids doc martin-ish looking boots ...(bright colored and adorable)

and she said.. I would rather look at the little baby shoes...so she went over, picked up her favorite pair, and moved them as if a baby was wearing them, running toward me.

Yesterday she said... "I read the top three boy's names for newborns.... our name isn't on the list"

It surprises me when she talks about our future with children, as she isn't someone who lives in the future... that is me. It means that she is thinking about it.... that makes me smile.

Rebecca, our housemate, has already been here 6 months! I can't believe it! There isn't a moment I regret the decision to have her move in with us.... she is truly a great friend.... it will be REALLY sad to see her go, but it will mean new doors opening.

Oh, and I wont allow her to move outside of the neighborhood. I am already stocking up wine for next summer on the deck. Winter can't come and go fast enough!

catching up!

This weekend was a complete whirlwind!

Things accomplished: lots of laughs with my nephew and nieces while sitting them.... teaching them things that only an aunt can get away with.....laundry (sort of)... hooking....visiting with my parents and brother... and just general business.

When I went out to see the 'rents, I brought my new craft to show my mom. She surprises me around every turn, I swear. As I am showing her she says, "I just found all of my hooking stuff in a bin upstairs under your old bed." I was sure she meant something else. We went upstairs and she pulls out a big Rubbermaid bin, and proceeds to show me all of the projects she has done, and her supplies and things.... I said, "Mom! When did you do this??! I had no IDEA"... her reply was... "You just weren't paying attention". That hurt my heart.

As a younger woman, I think I was so consumed in my own crazy relationships and life in general, that I didn't even know my mother was so good at this art form.... she took classes and all! From this moment forward.... I will pay more attention.

My mom has had an artful past.... folk singer, guitar player, painter, knitter....she threw pots, sewed quilts, she has a knowledge for the arts, antiques and continues to surprise me with her artistic photographs....

As she was going through everything she said..."More recently, I bought this kit"... it was the same one that I bought, from the same store, and the same woman sold it to us.

We think alike....and I love that!

Bad dog mama

Once a week we send our dog, Cosmo, to C*entral B*ark Doggy Daycare here in the city. We have done this for 4 years-- sometimes more often during week, all depending on our financial situation. Depending on the doggy day care and the area that it is in, you may be dealing with some real.. oh, lets just say "dog people". We are not those people. Just because we don't have his face tattooed on our back doesn't mean we don't love him just the same.

I walked into the location on Tuesday morning in my usual manner... hair dripping wet, pulling up my socks, stepping on the heel of my shoe because it is only half on.... running 15 minutes late because I felt the need to mindlessly sit in front of facebook for 30 minutes after getting out of the shower.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw a colorful sign.... "Happy Birthday Cosmo!!!!" right there in the lobby. I looked... looked down a my dog.... looked at the daycare worker who was cheerfully skipping towards me singing happy birthday to my mutt.... and I said, "uh.. oh.. ummm.. MY dog, Cosmo? It's his birthday??!?" She looked at me like I just asked her to clip my toenails. "yes!" it is his BIRTHDAY!"

OMG.

I die.

"well.. YES! of course it is!!!!! How silly! I forgot his treats for his friends at home... obviously, by the state of my hair and accessories, I am running VERY late-- I forgot them! Uhh.. yeah.. I will bring them NEXT week! He will be non the wiser"

and I ran. Shoe flipp-flopping and all...

I made Mic pick him up, as I wouldn't be able to handle any more horrible dog mom humiliation.

She came home wit his yearly photo and special treat-- and said.. "HEY! It's Cosmo's birthday!"

phew.

That makes two of us.

Jen over at Dyke Evolution just lost her dear Gracie suddenly...without warning. Her dog who never judged and only loved was gone from her physical life. I hugged Cosmo extra hard the day I read about that, because I DO know how much love a pet can give and truly become part of your family.

I know I am very lucky to have had 4 years with my big lug.....

from this, four years ago:

To this... Cosmo's fourth birthday!

I just made his day

by changing Big Boss's homepage to Google.

hehe.

I got an phone call at the funeral home a couple weeks ago from a gentleman regarding his long lost buddy who, he thought, just lost his wife. He has a group of friends from high school that get together every year here in Milwaukee for a reunion... it has been going on for 40 years. They lost track of this "buddy" who he thinks is listed in one of our deceased's obituary.

He was VERY nervous even talking to ME about this.... his voice was shaky and you could tell he felt uncomfortable... because if it WASN'T his old buddy, he didn't want to intrude, or confuse this man.

I explained that the best thing, the easiest thing, would be to write an email to the funeral home-- pass on your condolence and explain who you are and the reunion etc... he didn't want to.. I finally convinced him of this.. a few days later I received his email, and passed it on to the widower.

This morning I came in and there was another email from this guy. It was full of thanks and excitement as it WAS his buddy, and the whole gang is getting together soon for their reunion and everyone is so excited to see him again.

It warmed my heart-- that good friends have contact again, especially during this really rough time of loss.

new obsession

i thought my new obsession was going to be knitting - but it has turned into folk aet rug hooking but in fun modern colors and patterns, cuz i am not a log cabin artsy fartsy kinda gal.


http://redjackrugs.blogspot.com/


and yes i am typing w/ 1 hand - i am a warrior - an acrylic nail remover warrior.

woopsie.

I didn't keep up on my ripped off idea of "30 Days of Thanks"

So...because my mind is in 400 different directions right now... comes my list o' three for the day:


1. 50 degree days in November.
2. Popcorn dinners
3. Crossing things off of the list.


oh-- and a couple more:

4. Pandora Radio
5. sour gum
6. hand holding.

k.
done.

what is happening to kids today?

My co-workers and I were talking yesterday about the state of affairs.... and those god-damned kids.... trouble makers.. ALL OF THEM.

har.


But, actually, we were having a pretty interesting little vent fest--- what IS happening to kids-- are they too spoiled, are parents too anxious to be their friends and not their mentors and authority figures? What happened to manners? Why are public schools scary places? What happened to listening to adults? What happened to worth ethic?

It seems like there are so many kids thrown to the wayside... not learning the basics... and then they are having kids and those kids are having kids... its a mad cycle.

It is FRUSTRATING.

I know I sound like a cranky no-kid 98 year old lady with a pie tin on her head, burying her uterus in her garden.... but I am not. I am a simple 36 year old woman... who will have a family in the next something or another--

I found this blog by surfing other blogs-- you know--it leads you to this blog- then that one.. and you can't remember how you got there-- yanno-- that vortex we all get swept into--

http://rulesformyunbornson.tumblr.com/

I love it.

Obviously it can be switched up-- mom/dad/daughters/sons...

Some are silly-- some are right on--- some are throw out-- But it is cute.

Weeked update.

Okay- I have both hands now- acrylics are mostly off-- disguised okay. I am mainly not pointing at things, and tuck my fingers when people are around me.

Acrylics? What the hell was I thinking? So. not. me. (anymore) I am way too fat for pretty hands. Don't mind me- I have fallen apart physically, but lookie me fingies..... aren't they beautiful?...... Biiiggg girrrl in a littllee cooaattt... but, my nails sparkle!

Weekend-- well-- it was beautiful. I need to find a climate to move to that is 60ish/70ish degrees year round. No snow. Just comfie and cheap. Oh, and I need to have someone cover my moving expenses, and find me a job.

Mic and I cleaned up and winterized the yard, preparing for the snow. I cleaned the inside. We had a fantastic dinner at Hectors in the hippy Bay View. We had a GREAT time, met new gals, and they were really nice and fun.

Heard about a relationship that has ended.... very sad. Isn't it awkward when friends break up-- who gets who? Can I stay friends? Do we still talk? Take sides? How can you NOT ask for details and then give your own opinion-- I am really good at giving my opinion (and not very good when people don't TAKE it. Don't people know I know best? oivey.)

As far as the Vegas vacation-- apparently the last family vacation they went on was many years ago-- Mic brought her partner at the time-- and by the end of the vacation, they weren't speaking, and shortly after that Mic and her partner broke up. So, there have been rules for this one: we are all staying on separate floors of the hotel, we are doing our own thing for the most part during the day and perhaps meeting up at night (or vice versa), we aren't sitting by one another on the plane... and very important: Mic and I are working on some sort of verbal or physical sign to signal when I have had enough of her bro-in-law's smart mouth (actually- very opposite) and I am about to drop kick him.

Mic made up those rules, except for the last one.

I am doing Rebecca's dad's Orders of Service for the service tomorrow- and Mic and I are driving out to Madison after work to attend the visitation...

typing with one hand

because i am in the process of removing my acrylics. we just got back from sunday family dinner at mics house.

we are going on a family vacation to vegas next october,

i have a lot to say that takes two hands

they are very accepting people - i just don't know that they are family vacation kinda people.


i am supposed to face my fears.



rebecca's dad's funeral is tomorrow - there is a sadness in the house. i wish i could say the right thing to make her feel better.

a beautiful day

It is 60+ degrees here in loverly Wisconsin.

it is GORGEOUS out... why, you ask, am I sitting on the computer?

Because I am hiding in the basement, as our friend is here picking up something and yabba dabba doing upstairs....and I STANK. I am being quiet. Like a little mouse.

I need a shower.

Today is yard clean up, open the windows, house clean up , and off to dinner with friends tonight.

There are no more parties for us this year. We are done. We are going to be graciously attending, dish in hand, OTHER peoples party's.

Parties... party's... I suck at grammar.

She is gone. I am going to shower.

Two things....

I am sitting here at my desk, and at the next desk, the general manager is SNORING HIS HEAD OFF.

Do I wake him?


b) I found Becky and CJ on Facebook-- where are the rest of you? eh?

and not a happy p.s....

Rebecca has been called to the hospital again... her dad wont be able to survive without life support. They are having a family meeting-- and she is in charge of making funeral arrangements--

There is no greater pain than to say good-bye to someone who is so dear to you.

That is a pain I wish upon no one.

My heart completely shatters for her and her family.

oh NO!

I didn't post! I missed Thursday!!!


Even worse: my aloe vera died on Farmville.


Sonofa.

I was too busy kicking arse in Wii.

I am re-thinking the Ouija. Maybe I will just visit psychics.

I am running so late - I can here Rebecca stirring upstairs. I need to get in the shower. .. right after I re-plant my aloe vera.

voices from the past

I have been obsessing about getting an Ouija board.

My roomies and I bought one when I lived in Madison. That was during my bible thumping days, and after using it once, I swore that it was the fruit of the devil, and we let loose a raging demon in the apartment that lived in the walk in closet, where, it just happens the Ouija board was residing.

So I threw it in the dumpster on my way to bible class.

Now, in my heathen state, I am kinda thinking I wanna try it again.

Has anyone ever had any experiences with it....good or bad? I want to hear your stories!!!!

fantastic!

I got to put a little boy to sleep tonight, rocking him and telling him about trains and circuses, and all the animals performing....

Right before that I danced with him teaching him the lawnmower, cabbage patch, some soft shoe and very important jazz hands. We looked at books and found cars in his toys that looked like the cars in his book.

I taught him how to say "Can I have four beers?" ... you have to watch this to get that.... www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5sK0UcrcgQ

He is 2.

He is adorable.

Someday I hope I have a child.... and a friend come over and teach him/her all the funny things that as a parent I am not supposed to really think are that funny.... but secretly I think they are a riot...

house hunters

I am working on a letter to Suzanne Wong about her fancy show, House Hunters. I sit here watching House Hunters and the "one up", House Hunters: International, and I think there should be a disclaimer on what they do for a living. How can Joe Blow afford to pack up and move to the Dominican? What is his family thinking? Does he get along with his siblings? Does he really need a guest room, cuz who the hell can afford to visit him?

Moving on....

I am taking this idea from Anne -- she has been doing 30 Days of Thanks. She lists three things a day that she is thankful for.... what a great way to keep things in perspective...and it will help me with my Nablopomo

1. Leftover Halloween candy
2. friends who move closer
3. my dog who warms my side of the bed before I crawl in.

don't be tardy for the party

Our big Halloween party has come and gone-- and it was a fantastic time. We had a great turn out and I think everyone had a lot of fun--- and I can honestly say that the rum runner punch had a lot to play into the fun-dom. I could tell some super fun stories... trust me-- they consist of Tinkerbell's, bitch wine, Dexter's, and lots of things I would have to go into great depth about-- and lord knows, my head hurts far too much, and I keep burping rum and orange juice.

I took a few pics-- I was too busy to get a lot.. but here are a couple...

Here is a couple of the front yard--we decorated and had a fog machine-- spooky noises and a strobe light-- we had a fire pit in the driveway...


Here are a couple of the basement-- we had red and yellow lighting-- that is the reason for the color... just a portion of it...
And some of our guests....

I laugh....

The Big Boss got a computer while I was on vacation.


He is SO EXCITED.


Let me explain.... we are a very high class funeral home in a very high class area. High class fancy shmanse is not really my cup o' tea -- but that is neither here nor there. It was very surprising on my first day, that in the office/work station there were only two computers. One of which was always turned off. This place is HUGE and there are 9 employees... and I couldn't figure out why there was only one working computer.



Then I was here for a day and I realized how Blonde Ambition was a crazy in the head-- and that she would go around turning everything off. Even computers. At one point (down the road, of course, I didn't want them to see my bossy personality right away!) -- I tried explaining how convenient it would be to have it turned on-- yanno-- so people could work on it. Out of the question. I may as well have been asking her to pay my house mortgage for a year.



Then I was here for a week-- and I realized that no one knew anything about computers... and anytime Big Boss would want me to do something for him on the computer he would say--- "Casey-- can you google (blahblahblah)?" Like.."Casey-- can you google this letter?".... Everything was googled. It was hilarious-- and I still find it quite amusing.



So... Big Boss has been begging Blonde Ambition for two years to get him a computer. At first I was like.. No. He doesn't need one. I need a job. I need to keep googling. You can't learn how to google. Then came the day that he sat at my computer and started click-clickclicklclick-clickityclickclicking everything --- everywhere (not even knowing how the mouse worked-- just that it clicked)..... *exhale* my job is going no where... my place here is secure. The little computer things gave Big Boss joy--- he was completely boggled when I ordered his pictures through wal*greens, and he could go down the road and pick them up in an hour...I could change the route on a map simply by dragging a dot to a road he would much rather take, we could look at pictures of people homes right from the street..... bananas.

I was very surprised to see the shiny new computer sitting in his extravagant, antique filled office when I came back from vacation. Blonde Ambition was tossing around the idea of getting one for him -- but I honestly didn't think it would happen.

Yesterday I showed him how to google antique stores in cities on the west coast. He was giddy and wide eyed like a school girl. Today I showed him how to download his pictures from his camera- and how to look at them.... and turn them the correct direction. He was laughing and smiling and grabbed my hand and said.... "CASEY!!! This is FASCINATING!!! You have opened up a whole new world to me!!! I feel like designing homes!" (I have no idea what that means)

He has been in his office for 3.5 hours.

Tomorrow I think I am going to show him how he can listen to his Frank Sinatra c.d's... he is going to go caaaarraaazzzzyyyyy!!!!!


Side note- since turning 36 last week, I have found out that I have plantar fasciitis and I have hypothyroidism. I have no comment about that.

Side note (part duex) - Thank you guys so much for reading my day-to-day.... and making comments-- you guys make me laugh, and I appreciate all the warm fuzzies.

Part Tres.... Rebecca is still at the hospital with her dad....

prayers

to my friend and housemate, Rebecca and her father. She was called to the hospital last night as her father, who for one short week was on a lung transplant list, is now fighting to stay alive.

He is her rock.

He was just here 3 weeks ago... this has all gone so quickly.

Vacation Bullets.

I have been on vacation for the last 9 days. I know I needed it... and now I am absolutely dreading going back to work.

What I have been up to

• shopping. every day. Tuesday was my last day of ho-hum. I changed my attitude and warmed up my debit card.
  
• wii. I can't even hold a pen in my right hand. It is so used to holding a wii controller thing. Upside, I am apparently a much better golfer (at least in video form) then I ever thought I was. My big boobs don't even get in the way..who woulda' thunk?
• Estate sales are where it is AT. Especially the estate of a gay caterer/ florist/ decorator. God rest his soul... but thanks for leaving so much great crap behind! Crate and Barrel huge hurricane thing, $2.50..beautiful brand new white sheets....50 cents, 2 brand new mag lite flashlights $1.00, one martini shaker...$1.00, new J Crew scarf....25 cents....I am now dreaming of the stuff that I didn't buy. That mistake wont happen twice.
  
• Apparently when you paint cribs you need special paint? Is this true? I have so much to learn.
  
• I have a lot to do for Halloween in the next 7 days.... and I have a cold. A drag out knock down cold.... but that wont prevent me from buying some new shoes.
  
• My friend anne was in a car accident this week- she has a broken leg...read about her accident over at her blog... many healing thoughts her way....the passenger in the other car has passed away...very sad. I am thankful Anne is still here.
  
• I am over bullets
• my cold medicine is kicking in
• maybe I have time for a game of wii tennis before I pass out.
  
• maybe not.
  
• I am going to turn this off and go to bed.
  
• but it wont stop making <---- those bullets.

okay. got it. NyQuil rocks.
nini.

• 
  

I have become boring.

I had so many plans for my staycation.

So far... all I have done is feel guilty for all the things I should be doing...and cried over all the g-d baby shows on TLC. Oh- and returned a library book and ran because I thought they would tackle me for late charges... and got dog food... and went swimming... and baked cookies... and did laundry. ..and made dinner... and drove through a really awesome old cemetery....

Wait one stinkin minute. I have been kinda busy... and it is only TUESDAY. I am bummed because I wont be seeing Nonny up in Oskosh-b'gosh tomorrow as her little Fiona is sick. I don't do well with sick...so we are re-scheduling.

I also scouted out the new Burlington Coat Factory down the way. Granted, it is a little um.. well.. *ahem*... I wont go there. It was interesting, and they had one zillion purses... and I will go back.. perhaps on a Sunday morning right when they open and before all the crazies that take the bus there looking for a warm place to hang while they stuff their pockets full of god-knows-what get there. Cuz they have lots of purses. woot.

I have to stop dreading going back to the mess that will be waiting for me at work.

That is all. I have to go get some more kleenex and settle in for more weepy shows about newborns.

Take it easy, cheesey.

I need to slow down a bit. Stand back and be really thankful for TODAY. Live for today. The future is as planned as it possibly can be, and my only job right now is to enjoy today.

Why can't I?

I am always waiting on the edge of my seat for tomorrow andthenextdayandthenextdayandthenextday.

Self,

Today is a GREAT day. The rain is nourishing the earth, it is quiet in the funeral home, I get to see my sister tonight and yabba dabba do. TODAY I am loved, I have wonderful people in my life, I am blessed with a good job, loving parents, and a supportive family. I have laughed today, and I have cried today. I have already met two families that are truly amazing considering the loss they are dealing with.

Slow the hell down, woman. Smell the fall air. Enjoy TODAY.

Me.

--so- Sunday I went out to my 'rents and sat and shot the shit for many hours - true (insert my last name here) fashion. Sitting around the kitchen table, eating cheese and crackers, drinking root beer and solving the worlds problems. My mom, (who, when she found out I was dating women (back in the mid-90's) told me never to speak of it again in her home, and never to embarrass the family with all of my sin) asked me point blank about my relationship with Mic and our domestic partnership and what it means, and why can't we get married in Wisconsin, and my dad chimed in with his own opinion-- that it is stupid that we don't have the same rights as a married couple - that it doesn't effect anyone, so what is the big deal?

*gasp*

My parents.
MY PARENTS said they support my relationship.

Don't get me wrong- I know they adore Mic, they have found pleasure in my previous partners, and have enjoyed them as well-- but they have never said those words before. Affirmation.

What a day for the record books!

72 degrees--- the follow up.

1st- did anyone see Oprah yesterday with the hoarders? I was hoping for so much more from that show-- and a follow up (like, cameras in the house) of that woman from Milwaukee with the rotting pumpkins in the living room (and so much more-- if you can- go to A&E . com and watch that one.. barf) I dunno-- I felt a little cheated..I am kind of over Op's (we tight like that) I am looking for juicy.. I may have to change to dvr'ing Dr. Phil again.

Anywho.

I spoke to Mic about my concerns over her thoughts about our future. She took the criticism with a level head (surprise, right?) and she said... "what I see for our future goes like this:
I am going to make my way up in the ranks at work and make great money, we are going to move somewhere without so much snow but SOME so we can at least make snowballs for Cosmo... and then you are going to stay home to take care of our family."

She will make that happen. I feel better knowing those things. At least she has plans. At least she thinks about it.

I got my costume for our big Halloween party... I have to make some of it.. but it is going to be... bababababab (that is a drum) wait... dumdumdumdudmdm (you get it )

Sister Mary Martini.

I have the nun outfit. I am going to make a rosary out of polymer clay olives, beads and instead of a crucifix out of a little Pravda vodka bottle... its going to rock the hizzy. Rebbecca might be Sister Mary Margarita.

Mic doesn't think she is going to dress up. (oi) Unless Rebecca makes her a shirt that says.. "Boo-Humbug" get it??? she is so clever.

I am rambling. That's what I get for a MASSIVE OVER SIZED mug of coffee (3 parts creamer to 24 parts sugar to 1 part coffee) and no breakfast.

72 degrees

That is what my housemate calls Mic.

She is exactly correct. Mic is 72 degrees.

She is the most level headed, non excitable, realist, the power of now, plan for the day, glass is half full girl I know. Her favorite saying.. "What will happen will happen- there is no reason to use so much energy on stressing over it"

I am the complete opposite.. I am 0 to 60 in 3.5. I laugh too loud, I worry, I get excited over EVERY positive thing that happens, I cry for those who are hurting, I hold grudges, I day dream about my future, I day dream about EVERYTHING, I talk way too much, I easily get worked up, I dilly dally, I smell the roses, I putz.

Polar opposites.

It amazes me that 72 degrees can love 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds. (And the opposite)

Lately, though, I have been craving a day dreaming partner.... an "imagine our future" partner....I need her to tell me that she looks forward to our future-- and I need to know what she desires for our future. I do know that what she tells me.... that WILL happen. Because in her 72 degree soul, there is no reason to day dream about it if you aren't going to make it happen. And, she will have a very specific laid out plan on how to get there.

I would never ask her to change who she is.... I am just needing some reassurance, as my over-excitable, wildly always thinking mind needs to know that somewhere... in the "in-between" of US... we are headed in the same direction.

Tell me about your partners- are you clones of one another? How do you balance one another out? How do you deal with differences?

winner winner?

I think I am supposed to go tell people about this contest and tell them to sign up as you have a fantastic chance to win some great stuff from a couple of very hip soon-to-be dads!


But don't.


I want the treasures.


There is nothing to see behind the curtain.

http://johnandstevearehavingababy.blogspot.com/2009/09/hot-daddyhot-mama-giveaway.html


Jeve- this counts right? harhar.

Ceeerimany

I haven't blogged. Thank you, Nonny and Annie Bannanie for reminding me.

Why haven't I blogged?

*blink*


um.

I have to really THINK about what has been going on..

cleaning, packer parties, headaches, layin' round, dog walking, family time, working, obsessing about storage unit auctions (thank you Adventures in Babymaking), reading (gawd- the 4th Twilight book SUCKS ARSE!), laundry (where DOES it all come from- I can't even begin to imagine how much there will be with kid!), fake nails, Halloween party planning, internet shopping, house re-doing, income property thinking.. and waiting patiently for my vacation (I plan on estate sailing, visiting, sleeping late, making dinners, and celebrating my b-day!)

*breath*

Yup- I think that is just about it.

I hope all is well out there in blog land.. there are exciting things going on out there! Babies, relationships, moving, FUN!!!!

EDIT:
duh- my brother. Well.. news is that he is now telling us he works at a strip club.. as a bartender. I am fine with this. If it means he is working- okay. Whatev. (Though-we don't know what the truth is)

So. My sister called my mom to update her and said.. "Mom, he is working in a strip club"... my mom fell silent for a moment.. " a strip club?!?! HE IS STRIPPING??"

*blink*

My brother resembles Chris Farley with brown hair.

No.Mom. He isn't stripping.

She is heart broken-- but I can't stop giggling from that reaction.

My brother..

10 years older then me..

He and I have always been compared... even though I didn't like to be. Why couldn't have have been beautiful like my sisters, and compared to them instead?

He has had three (possibly 4) strokes in the last few years. Why would I say possibly? Because he chooses not to share his life with us. I am coming to the conclusion that my brother-- my big brother-- the one who would tickle torture me and give me whisker burn and just generally tease me as any big brother should... is a compulsive liar.

He moved away when he was right out of high school and I believe it started then. We never really knew where he lived, who he lived with... he went through jobs pretty rapidly.. he ended up moving back with my parents... back and fourth a number of times.

He lost his businesses.

He lost his wife.

I truly believe he is dealing with depression deeper then any I have touched the surface of.

He doesn't know when to stop. We, as a family, have given him numerous... NUMEROUS times to come clean... to tell us where he is really working... who he is really dating.... where he really got the brand new Harley he drives around on. Time and time again, he has chosen to tell us stories. We all know the truths..

He has been telling us for many months he has had a job at a restaurant chain. My mom and sister decided to stop in on him today to say hi. They asked for him... the staff looked at each other ...Um.. he worked here for a little bit ... but hasn't worked here for at least 4 months.
My mom (who never shows emotion) started crying. She knew she has been lied to again. They left. They called him. He said he had the day off.. they explained what happened.. he said they were mistaken.. that he just got his paycheck on Friday.

What???

ARE YOU SERIOUS???

My mom is crushed.. my dad is crushed... my sister can't stop shaking... everyone is pissed. I don't know what we can do for him. My parents who are in their 70's have been paying his rent for him since his last stroke... they don't want to go to Florida this winter as they are afraid something will happen to him.. they don't want to stop paying for his insurance becuase then he wont get the help he needs.

I feel like walking away..

But who can walk away from family?

We are a dysfunctional bunch.. me and my family... the stories of my childhood well.. wait.. I will say my parents tried their best.. and they raised us much like they were raised.

All my mom ever asked us while growing up was to tell her the truth. That was IT. That is all she wanted. Granted.. there were times even in my life that it was a challenge to do that... then, I came to the conclusion that there wasn't any reason to hide anymore.

I am venting, I am sorry.. I am swimming in frustration....

He needs help.

Again.

Very funny....

Someone sent this card to me today..

Well.. EDWARD CULLEN sent this card to me today :)

It plays music.






Isn't he sweet?

None of my friends are fessing up...I think it is hilarious..

Win... Win....

1st win: The Packers... uuufffDA! Dat's da way boys!

2nd win: Oktoberfest. What a way to spend a beautiful Saturday afternoon! I wonder if the Oktoberfest of 200 years ago were as good without porta-potties and Miller Lite on College Ave in Appleton... I just wonder...Oh- and p-flag selling chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick right next to the pentecostals selling hot pretzels. There was an odd silence between the booths. No amount of sugar and salty dough could a truce make.


We had a great time! The Ave. was packed... (just as many people in the other direction of photo, too) we ran into lots of old acquaintances and friends... and had quite the time. Thank the gods for buses that cost a quarter (though-careful.. .it IS Appleton, and apparently there is no need for them to run after 6:30. huh? true!) Truth be told: most people over 30 couldn't MAKE it TO 6:30. huh? true.

Bucket List..

I am following Two Mom's with a Plan's lead and posting my bucket list... she had her birthday yesterday-- and mine is next month, and I thought it was a good idea.

I tried to make it obtainable.. I could put a bunch of different bullet points about climbing Mt. Everest and finding my way out of the rain forest.. but ew... why would I want to? That's what they make trams and tour guides for.

Things to do before I die:
(as if it is a good thing to dwell more on my death) ( ugh.)

In no order:

• Go to Las Vegas
• Learn to knit
• Throw a big kitchy flamingo party where everyone has to wear pink-- and DOES.
• Lose 85lbs. (not BECAUSE I am dying.. but to prolong it a bit)
• Drive to the Northwest coast (Oregon)-- and stay in a cabin on the ocean... then fly back.
• Quit my day job to become a stay at home mom- and be REALLY good at it
• Learn how to make a really yummy meal- and have a big dinner party
• Learn how to drive stick
• Bike the Elroy Sparta Trail
• Volunteer with gay teens
• Take a photography class
• Buy rental property
• Spend a week(end) on a silent retreat -- I could NEVER do a whole week.
• join a league of some sort...
• Travel to: Trinidad, P-Town, Scotland, Nova Scotia,
• Have a past life regression
• See the Paulding Light and the Porcupine Mountains
• Attend Big Top Chautauqua
• Go kayaking
• Take a cruise

Okay- I think that is about it for now-- anyone else want to make a list?