Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Keep your damn hands off of it!

We get lots of loot around here during the holidays. People showing appreciation for our business. Casket companies, vault companies, monument companies, restaurants, newspapers... all that jazz. They come in, give me a large box of something or another, and I VERY QUICKLY run (shuffle) it to the kitchen, take the wrapping off and open the box of whatever it may be. I breath a sigh of relief.... another one saved.

If I don't do this... Big Boss confiscates it and re-gifts it.

ohmygoshiamsorry-- did I mention HE IS A MILLIONAIRE???

Uhhhh. yeah.

A few days ago the very nice old man from the stone place comes in with a stack of boxes.... all sorts of cheese, nuts, cookies, baklava... all in s.e.p.e.r.a.t.e boxes. I FLEW with that stack, breathing hard, like I was uncovering a buried treasure... I thought that by simply removing the ribbon that held it boxes together in a nice tower and laying all the small boxes out on the counter so everyone could share, would be enough. IT WASN'T. I just asked another co-worker if she got any of it. She didn't. Big Boss took the small boxes... some of them containing such things as A SQUARE OF CHEDDAR CHEESE.. and he has been giving them out as gifts.

Every Christmas this happens.

One company got smart. They brought all of their gifts wrapped, and on the INSIDE of the gift was a business card taped to the product.

They had been informed of Big Bosses re-gifting scheme.

He got busted out big time that year when he gave road side emergency bags out with business cards of vaults plastered all over them..... to his family.

*muuuuaaahahhahahhaaaa*

Normally I would think this was funny-- and, granted, I kinda do. But when restaurants give gift certificates specifically for the funeral directors and he takes them for his own... .. there is something wrong with that.

Karma, mister--- it's gonna GETCHA!

4 comments:

Jude said...

Yeah but you know what? that's part of the reason why he's a millionaire.

Keeps you on your toes though hey?

Amy said...

Hey that's what I was gonna say! That's why he's a millionaire!! He's *cheap*

Merry Festivus.

Angie said...

i just got the best image of you huffing down the hall with your treasures, all panicked. must. unwrap. stash. excellent. thanks for the laugh.

shane rocket said...

i laughed hard at the same thing Angie said.