We had our annual day up in Appleton for their Oktoberfest. It was a riot as always. I get to connect with some friends I don't see but this one day and we get to walk up and down "the ave" tasting lots of food. Somehow we always end up tasting lots of different shot specials at the bars on the ave. Thankfully I know when to say when.
My uncle died this week. I didn't know him. It is odd to me to say that I don't know anyone on my dad's side of the family. He had 2 brothers, I think that was all. I don't think he had a sister. One brother lived on the St. Lawrence sea way. I can remember one time that we visited that area, though I don't remember where we stayed.. or what we did. Nor do I remember meeting that uncle. I think he died many years ago. My uncle that died this week lived in northern Wisconsin. He had 8 children.... I don't know who they are...but I think many of them worked on the railroad. For some reason I think a lot of my dad's family worked on the rails.
It never really was something that I thought about until I heard he had a massive stroke. My dad drove up as soon as he heard, and he found the nursing home he was at. My dad sat by my uncles side, and spoke to him for hours while my uncle would squeeze my dad's hand.
My dad was happy he got to say goodbye.
I heard that his kids rented a van and a wheelchair and took him to his favorite place on Pelic@n Lake. He spent two hours looking at the lake with is family surrounding him.
My heart breaks for my dad. I wonder if he wanted to spend more time with is brother... had they ever thought about sharing holidays with us, for us to know the cousins, to travel to the lake to spend time together? I wonder what they are all like.. are they short tempered like my dad? Do they have this great laugh like we all do? Do they have squinty blue eyes?
Then I think.... will our child feel like this x's 3000000?
I can't tell you all how often I have sat down to blog about things that have been churning in my head over the summer. Yet, every time I sit down I am sidetracked by something shiny like facebook. Then my brain rots, and I go to bed.
The trees are turning, and this saddens me. It feels like 2.34 hours ago that I packed away the winter clothes.... now I just opened a container to get out a cuddly shirt (and prayed that it still fit).
With my new responsibilities at work, I drive around all day to drop off marketing materials to apartment complexes and a bunch of other places. Another one of my responsibilities is to go to networking events. I have another one tomorrow morning. I loathe them. LOATHE. A room full of men who talk about sports and are looking for the exit door as soon as they enter, and women in power suits who THRIVE on this shit. I feel like it is my first day in high school and I am just trying not to trip in front of the senior girls. I convinced myself that I was in need of a shoulder padded power suit and a neckerchief. Thank god Mic talked me down off of that ledge. Instead I got a nice fitting pair of tweed pants and a cardigan. I am going for comfy-sophisticated. Very lesbian-chic.
I lost my train of thought- I think I was going to talk about our beautiful city on this beautiful biiiiig lake and the new neighborhoods I have scouted out.
And the trees turning colors.
The main thing on my mind this night is the worry I can't seem to shake. Anyone who knows me knows that I worry about everything. My most prevalent worry right now is for my parents. They are getting older. They just bought a condo in Florida... and drive there.
I break down every time they leave thinking that this will be the last time. Then my parents and I have phone conversations about their days-- and they bring up the fact that "they aren't going to be around much longer" in almost every phone call. My heart breaks.
I am not prepared to lose a parent. I know so many of my friends who have gone through that pain, and "blog friends" who are going through pain now. My heart hurts for them.
Perhaps my obsession with death is coming back to surface now that I am not at the funeral home on a full time basis anymore. There were so many times that I simply could NOT think of death one more time because I was inundated by it all day every day 8+ hours/day. But now-- I drive around in a car all day long. Just me and my thoughts.
I feel like I am on a crazy train. Actually, the conductor of the crazy train.
Wait.. now that I read this over, it SOUNDS like it too.
I really am not.
I just worry.
And I think.
I just need to take time and go see my parents. I take time to bowl on a big gay bowling league. I take time to help friends, to see a personal trainer, to go on freaking f@cebook 1203408 times a day..... I can TAKE TIME to go see my parents.
Anywho-- The summer was fun.. it was busy. We really didn't do anything super crazy insane outta your mind fun... at least it didn't suck.
This week Brittany's supervisor will be getting our report on her desk. Then, I think it is maybe next week (??) that we get our license.
Everything is so NOT in our control. I am kind of glad that I have other things on my brain instead of counting the days when something maaayybeee will happen. I have given it all up to a higher power than myself. It isn't in my hands. That doesn't mean that I can't visit the consignment stores as if resale was my drug of choice. Now I have Mic hooked too :)
Okay, I am babbling.
I need to go to bed so I can get up in time to get my hair straightened and my networking game face on.
I hope they don't have scrambled eggs, again. *cringe*
Before we start-- am I the only one who thinks that uploading pictures and arranging them on your blog totally stinks??? Sorry about the randomness of the photos. I am one step away from throwing the mouse through the window. If our basement had windows. I will do another post with just photos :)
There are times in your life when you realize how amazing your friends and family are. Ever since we have decided to go forward with our foster to adopt process, that realization has happened over and over again. People have given us their blessings, we have been in prayers, and have had candles lit in our names. We have had generous acts of kindness like our recent baby shower that our friends Becky and Nora hosted. They did an amazing job with the decorations, invitations, organization. Our good friends Nonny, Angie, Mo, Greg and Rebecca all had huge parts to play in it, too.
It was held on the 28th... it was a BEAUTIFUL day in Wisconsin, and I seriously couldn't have imagined a better time! It was under a pavilion, there was a breeze, lots of shade and clear blue skies beyond that. There were white table clothes, colorful flower centerpieces, huge cakes (yum!), everyone brought a dish to share and delicious grill food. No one had to stop their socializing to play games because Nonny thought of a great way to have them over to the side, and people could approach and take their time to count the items in the bottles, guess what kind of food was in the jars, or count how many pins were in the rice... they got to write down their answers and put them in a box... for judging to be at the end of the party. Then awesome prizes were given out. There was even a station to paint your own onesie for the baby! People got really creative and I loved EVERY single one of them! Rebecca made her award winning cookies and everyone left with a goodie bag! There was an adorable plate set out that everyone was able to sign... by the end of the day, there was no room left!
Holy Monster Cake!!! This was at least 12 inches high!!!
Everyone was so generous with their gift giving! I think everyone feels like they are getting a little one in THEIR lives as well as ours. This will be a loved, shared :) baby!
There is so much more I could write about this day--- we sat and talked and talked and laughed for over 6 hours... and it was finally the mosquitoes that drove us out, otherwise we would have been there for even longer!
The Grill Masters....
The Grill Master's onesie....
Chocolate dipped cheesecake with raspberry filling... LISH!
The flowers that were on the tables
I am blessed.... and this baby is sure going to be a welcomed little bundle!!!