Woah. That was fast.

This year went by so quickly.

I can't believe it..

Fireworks and toots of horns and hugs and kisses to show how grateful we are for
the blessings of 2008 and even more of the same to the wonders, secrets, excitement, and new adventures that 2009 will bring!

We can't go back, right?


We are getting ready to have a few people over for some games...rum and wine.... anyone may join.. :)


Happy New Years to those out there .... be safe... have fun.... love lots...

Casey

Christmas was pretty darn good!

We hosted Christmas Eve with Mic's family... we had appetizers, gifts and then we played Right Left Center - a fun and easy dice game that you can play with or without money. We, of course, played with quarters. Usually at some point when we have gatherings with Mic's family, the TV goes on. I decided that I didn't want that to happen at Christmas, and I prepared everyone ahead of time, that if we are going to continue the tradition of hosting Christmas eve, then we can start a new tradition of playing a game with the family. They seemed to REALLY enjoy it, which made me haaapppyy! They also seemed to really like the gifts I made.

They went crazy with the gifts, which is to be expected - and that makes THEM happy.

Christmas Day was at my sister's just a few miles away from us. They wooped it up, and we had an AMAZING dinner, played Pictonary which was FUN (my family is fiercely competitive) we played boys against girls, losers had to do the dishes. We won. Hollleerr.

We did a couple of gifts for the children, and my family really enjoyed the gifts I made, and they all mentioned where they were going to hang them in their homes.

I love Christmas. I love it even better when it is over. Mic feels it necessary that we keep the tree up until after NYE. She is lucky I love her.

made with love

Today has been a BUSY day!!!! I got some wrapping done while Mic re-did the bathroom. We are now sporting a chocolate bathroom with teal and brown accents. Its cute! She did a great job! Its the only bathroom we have, and I refuse to worry about what colors are going to make a room seem smaller, etc. We like darker colors. End of story.

I can only handle wrapping in bits, so I ended after I ran out of two rolls of paper. That was JUUUSSTT about when I wanted to stab the scissors through my eye. It helped that I had my ipod on so I could just zone while wrapping.

After that I thought I would work on some of my gifts for this year.... I got three done before I ran out of supplies. Tomorrow I am going to have to hit up Michaels and Hancock Fabrics for more shtuff.

Here is what I have done so far.

I have decided to take my family's last names and make them into whatnots :) I found the big chunky frames at Michaels for a steal, and the opening is an 8x10 - Got the different letters off of the internet.. mainly f*lickr... and added ribbon and putzies!

I think you can click on the picture to get a larger view..




I hope they like them.... We shall see!


We are going to have a quick dinner and then I am going to make S'more cookie bars.

I got them off of a recipe from a group over at Livejournal that I joined....

If anyone is interested... there are LOTS of recipes and the best thing.. PICTURES from the real people who made them..

http://community.livejournal.com/bakebakebake/1679193.html?#cutid1

oom chica oom chica oom chica

I found this on another blog.

It is my inspiration.

I want a boogie body.

First I need a leotard with flattering stripes.

its like a train wreck.

I found this webcam this morning .. from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel online.. it is some guy driving around in his SUV on this crappy snowy morning.

http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/35472924.html


I don't know how long this is going to be going on this morning.. but.. I am going to be right here for the whole damn thing.

Hot diggggiiitttyy there is a CHAT, too!!!!

EDIT:

*tear*

its not on anymore.

Weekend is over.

I have really enjoyed my weekend. We didn't do anything crazy .. but it was just a NICE weekend. I never realized that my girl had 10 boxes of Christmas decorations under the stairs in the basement. She was hiding them. Since Saturday was going to be our tree decorating day, I had her bring up all 10 boxes and we went through them. We took down and packed up all of our "everyday" stuff in the family room and kitchen.. and decorated for the holidays. I am officially Christmas-ed OUT. I am glad we didn't do this any earlier, as I am not too sure how much I would have liked seeing snowmen and Santas for more than 2 weeks. The tree turned out great. Our colors this year were these really great shades of green and dark fuchsia pink and lots of silver! It looks beautiful! We didn't do much outside AT ALL.. next year we will have to plan further ahead. Like... in fall. As much as I don't want to be "those people" who have their lights on their house months prior to Christmas.. I also don't want to be "those people" who break bones trying to prop up ladders in the snow....and get frost bite standing in the chilling 20 mph wind.

I also did some baking. To be honest, I am not happy with the cookies that I did. Mic says they taste good.. I think they are kind of bland. I don't have many FAVORITE holiday cookies.. except those nuggets of goodness...the p-butter cookies with the kisses on top.. 'LISH! I will make those this week... I am pretty okay with NOT liking the ones I made.... I am not going to eat them!

This morning we did our duty by going to 8am Mass with Mic's mom and dad.. then out to breakfast, then dinner at their house tonight. I am stuffed.

Being in a Catholic church today, really made me miss the traditional Mass. I have been going to services at a UU church for quite a while-- and prior to Milwaukee, Lisa and I went to one in the Valley. I love it, I love what it stands for, I love everything about the UU's, but there is something beautiful about a traditional Mass.

I am exausted. It is only a little after 8, and I am going to climb into bed, read for a few mintues and crash out.

Here is a picture of the coconut puffs and the dark chocolate mint peppermint cookies I made:



The dish belonged to Mic's great grandma.

Here is my girl and my dog in front of the tree...


And one of just the tree..

It has been confirmed.

I need to make lots of money, and buy a winter home in a warm climate.

This weekend: decoratin' and Christmas cookie makin' updates and photos to follow!

Back to work

I think my skull was getting soft from laying on my back for 6 straight days. Is this possible? (FYI - never ask funeral directors questions like this as they will undoubtedly have a story to prove that yes, in fact that horrid thing you just asked about is completely possible.)

The owners wife was elated to see me as I walked in the door this morning, Mic pointed this out to me tonight when she picked me up. I was greeted with "eeeeps" in a southern drawl, and she took my coat, put my lunch in the fridge and ice pack in the freezer. I really enjoy my job-- even when I get cranky and tell the directors to shove it. They think I am playing... and laugh. I hide the truth behind my sarcasm pretty well. I had no intention of staying all day.. I was told that someone could take me home when I had enough (I couldn't drive myself this morning). I took one for the team.. and stayed. There is a lot to be done, and I couldn't let my co-workers hang.

I have actually started my holiday shopping! I have never been so on the ball with this-- EVER. We are doing pretty simple stuff this year. We get the nieces and nephews some fun small stuff (this year it all came from Little MissMatched) and we do a homemade gift. Last year I did this really great (if I say so myself)calendar that was themed month's with photos that I swiped from my siblings and my parents homes. All of July's photos had to do with 4th of July stuff, November was all Thanksgiving/Fall photos.. etc. We also took family photos and made personalized recipe cards (everyone in my family likes to cook) This year I have asked people to send me pics and I will make the calendar again (we filled in everyones birthdays/anniversaries/holidays). This year we are also doing family name plaques done with natures alphabet photos from i-stock, and adding some fancy dancy touches. Its nice to have a girlfriend who runs a printing company. Comes in handy!

I am starting to feel myself again. This makes me (and those around me) happy. Apparently I have been a bit on the bitchy side as of late. Sorrybout'that.

time for some time.

Mic and I did some talking, and we have come to the conclusion that we are going to wait on TTC for a few months.

This back issue is an eye opener. There is no way that I would want to put my body through a possible pregnancy in the condition it is at the moment. There are goals set, that need to be met for a physically sound body and mind. Or, as close as "sound" as I can get it in the next few months.

I am totally okay with this decision. If I can get pregnant, I want to have a very healthy pregnancy. So, I have to let our KD know, and I am sure he will agree with the decision.

I am feeling pretty okay today- I am going to work tomorrow for as long as I can stand it. I have to get out of the house! Stir CRAAZZZYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no more pills

I have been taking some pain medication and it is totally messing with my head.. and making me very nauseous. I am going to stick with ibuprofens. Tomorrow night Mic's uncle J is coming over to take a look at me. He is a spine specialist. I am not going to be going in to work again tomorrow as I just can't sit in a chair for more than about 2 min. I probably will be getting an MRI this week.

I am going to be missing belly dancing on Tuesday - and that makes me more upset than you could know.

This f-ing sucks.

I am laying on the family room floor.


My back went out in a bad way as I was carrying a very heavy laundry basket up the stairs.

I am so pissed off at myself. I shouldn't have allowed myself to carry that much.

I had to call my mom and tell her I wasn't coming out for Thanksgiving dinner. I wanted to go to my parents house so bad. My mom LOVES Thanksgiving (as it isn't a "gift giving holiday") and it was just going to be my bro and I for dinner.

I need more pills.

love.

I just can't say enough about Yelp... I am sure all of you (the three people that read this) know about it.. but I feel as if I have to pay homage just in case.

WWW.Yelp.Com - go there, register, and start reviewing anything and everything. It gets fun when you start to upload pictures and stuff, too. Everywhere I go, I Yelp. Its especially addicting when you first sign up and you are yelping every restaurant and garage, and public restroom you have ever set foot in. Clear your schedule and Yelp away!

Okay NONNY!!! sheesh.

I am back at work. *gulp* I need to find something to do with my life. Ever since high school I have wanted to go into AODA counseling. My mom talked me out of it, for reasons I will not go into here -- for someday she may read this, and it would mainly be my own opinion. I would never do it now, I don't have the patience or desire to go back to school. I do know that I feel as if I am floating right now. I have so many passions in my life... and I just kind of tinker in them. I need to really start moving.. trying.. going..

Its frustration making itself known.

Tonight I had my first belly dancing class with Jennifer from this studio.
I didn't talk to another woman there, but I can honestly say that I had a GREAT time.. and a GREAT workout! I love to move.. sometimes my body in the terrible shape that it is in, doesn't move like I want it to, and I think this will really help. I can't wait to go back. It was so feminine and beautiful, and I wasn't the most out of shape woman there (phew!)

neg-at-tory good buddy.

Not this month.

There is much to give praise for, though! I had a fantastic weekend! I was able to spend the weekend up north with Greg and Maurice. Sunday we went to the best pizza place in Neenah, Cranky Pats. We got together with Lisa's younger sister, Christina, and her boyfriend Murray, and their little one, Don. It was SO good to see them! Little Don is adorable and so is Murray ;) .. I hope that they will be able to come down to Milwaukee someday and hang. I told them they can come down, use our house as a B&B and I will take care of the baby while they do fun couple stuff. I hope they will take me up on it. Mic would love to see them as well. Monday Maurice and I hung out- and went shopping.. it was a lot of fun.. we had some good laughs, and it is always good to re-connect with him when it is just he and I. We can talk and share in a way we don't do when our SO's are around. I am sure everyone has friends like that. Tuesday I got up early, went to see my sisters new club, Lake Park Swim and Fitness..I wasn't able to make it to the grand opening, so it was really good to see her and hang and chit chat. She was really proud of her accomplishments, and I am SOOO proud of her, too! I also was able to take a trip out to the cemetery to visit Lisa's niche. It was the first time I was there since her death (almost 2 years ago-- I still can't believe it) and it was surreal. I am glad I was on a time constraint, as I probably would have spent hours there crying. She is still on my mind on a daily basis. Thankfully I had to jet off to meet my friend Amy (Nonny) at a place called Fire in Appleton. We had a fantastic time making some fused glass jewelry and I started a mosaic, I don't know what I was thinking choosing something so hard for the first time. I will go back and work on it again, I am sure! Otherwise I will just make some more fused glass. I am looking forward to seeing how that will turn out. Nonny and I have been friends since high school-- no matter how long it goes between our talks, we always pick up where we left off. I had a GREAT time-- and feel really lucky have been able to spend some time with her.

Today I am home-- and for some crazy reason (habit, I think) I was watching TLC with all the baby shows. I got MAD... turned it off, and started dillydallying. I do think that this past try was far more on track than the first. I also found out that one of my sisters had to use clomid after at year of trying. I think I may go to see her doctor in a few months if it still isn't working.

I have a big day ahead of me... laundry, work out, make dinner, tidy house (my parents are coming over tomorrow!), I love "at home" vacations.

hehehehhehehhe

Even BETTER than the Beyonce vid's are these...


Justin... The butt rub part is cllasssiiicc...

I can't imagine how much time that it took to move furniture out of rooms for these productions..

rawwrrr

ohh lala

This guy was on a talk show bustin' his moves. (with more clothes, of course)

EEP! Should I have known that many of the moves came from this dandy??

LOVE.


The truth is that I really wish I could move half as good as these dudes do. Enter in my fascination with drag queens.......

Casey Fierce

I am starting to get these moves down- though, its a whole different kind of phat when its being done by a white redhead about 5.75x's bigger than Beyonce.

I can NOT get enough of this video.

Not that we need it

But, I have never seen this link before... and I search for this junk like an addict going through the trash to find just one bottle with a little vodka left in it...

uh..

or somethin'


anyywwwhooo..


Not that women who are TTC need ONE more thing to obsess over...

Here is an interesting list that looks like it was compiled by many women..

This says A LOT

I swiped this from the Parker Martin Twin Odyssey - thank you, and I didn't really think you would mind ;)

It shall be done.

This time was MUCH better than the last. Funnier in ways-- but better. We did one insem... last night.

I used preseed, and was calm, had a great one-sided talk with God, and we are continuing on our Saturday.

Tonight we are going to Jalapeno Loco to celebrate a birthday with friends. Its 'lish. Then, I think we are going out dancing to a gay bar in the city. I am not tooooo sure how fun it will be without rum in my coke.. or that I will even dance with out the presence of rum. But, I do know that I will love being out with friends.

Here's a little story I've got to tell....

About three bad brothers, you know so well....

Beastie Boy's anyone...??

Really.. I have a story. First, read the last two posts....

okay.

Today I was feeling really frustrated because I feel totally out of control as ANYONE who is TTC knows.... I understand every woman's body is different.. things sometimes are wack.. whatever. I get it.
I emailed Mic with my frustrations- mearly to vent. She did what she does best, and brought me back to earth... in a very sweet way.

Fast forward to my drive home... I was talking with our KD on the phone, explaining to him everything that is happening, my frustration with timing, and all of that-- reassuring him that I am okay - that God has a plan-- that we just don't know what to expect.

I came home to pee on a stick.

I get this.


My first happy face.

So, correct me if I am wrong.. someone please! I didn't get a +OPK last night, nor this morning-- I did when I got home at 5:25, so, perhaps when we are able to get together with our KD tomorrow evening and Sat. morning, it may not be just for practice? Maybe it is actually okay timing?

Where in the HELL is my crystal ball? crap.

My problem

in life and in this specific situation is that I second guess what I know- and I need to hear it from others.

I now feel like I don't even know when I am fertile - I am remaining calm. .. I am okay... I just feel like I need to keep googling until I find my answers. I REALLY need to work today ! Uaarrggh.

We shall see...

Last night I had my first sight of EWCM. Sadly, no + on the OPK. I have EWCM still this morning-- no + on the opk... Frustration. I called the KD - he can't get together until Friday- tomorrow. I hope this is okay. I bought pre-seed, and I will just hope for the best.

I only started testing the opk once I saw the EWCM. Perhaps something that you don't want to share-- but how long does EWCM usually stick around? I hope I don't miss the boat.

oh Martha

Okay- I have another new favorite show. "Whatever, Martha!" is on the FLN .. its Martha Stewart's daughter, Alexa and her friend watching Martha show .. with color commentary. This episode is particularly funny- the part where the clown, Peanut Butter (wtf), rips off the super sticky tape from the girls face.... like a big Biore black head ripper outer.... and the camera pans to the friend sitting there laughing at her friends pain. .. now I can't stop laughing. This "clown", Peanut Butter is a big queen with a pointy hat..and a mirror that he stole from an abandoned gas station bathroom.. that brings pain to small children in the name of fun. Psycho.

WOW!!!

What an amazing, beautiful speech....given by a man who will change the direction of our country. This is the first time that I have been THIS excited about an election...change...hope..

It is exciting being an American this morning.


Maurice called twice last night... crying...saying he never thought he would see the day that a black man would be in the white house. His family from Trinidad has been calling him.... excited for Americans... for our country...and for the world.


Beautiful

Happy Election Day!

Today is such an important day... shrouded with saddness.

Yes.. votevotevote.. change the face of this country... equal rights for all.. yaaaahh WE KNOW.

BUT GET THIS...

I just read on another blog that they are writing Dr.Hahn's character off of Grey's Anatomy. WTF? Mic watches this show religiously... I watch the gay parts. Now... soon... no more gay parts.

I don't even know if I should tell Mic. It may ruin the rest of her day. She already had to wake up early to take care of the dog... now THIS.

Seriously, though- VOTE. I don't care WHO you are voting for (of course I prefer that you vote for Obama...) but, most importantly, take advantage of one right that we have.... to vote. I will be praying all day for those in California and in other states that they are voting on propositions etc that will directly affect the gay community. I pray that our adoption rights don't go away and that our marriages are still considered equal by the end of today.

I was in line at 7:15 this morning.. I walked up to the school on our corner to vote, and this is what I was greeted with.. a line that traveled from the gym in the lower level, up the stairs, out the door and to the street. I got misty eyed. It was honestly, the most beautiful way that I could have started my day. Uhh. oh.. minus waking up next to my gorgeous partner. Yeah-- that, of COURSE is first. The line comes in a close second ;)


I am officially 17 minutes late for work (it has been cleared with Blonde Ambition) and I am going to get bagels for the peeps. My friend at work, Rebecca, got mugged over the weekend. She is in a bad state. I don't think a bagel will cure her ick's... though, I think it may help a bit. She is one of my fave's.

Addiction and Ramblings.

I have an addictive personality. I know this- I think I have always known this. Addiction runs in my family, and I have to make conscious choices as to not allow it into my life. Well, for those who know me-- I have not done well. I am addicted to food. Hardcore. That is and always will be a struggle. I now have a new addiction: saving money...and monitoring how we spend our money.

By choices such as where we shop and when we shop... as well as coupons.. I have gotten our food bill down to about $50.00/ a week. That includes lunches... and we only go out to eat MAYBE once every two weeks. We do travel down to Woodmans to do food shopping.. and that is a bit of a hike, seeing as we have a grocery about a mile away from us. Woodmans is just so much less expensive. I also clip coupons. We don't buy what we don't need... and we don't overbuy...therefore what we throw out is minimal. What we buy is for two weeks. When two weeks are up, we are almost out of food... but not REALLY, as I could continue to make lots of stuff out of rice and soup and such. But we are, for arguments sake, out of food. It came from becoming aware of how much I am eating and what I am eating. If it isn't in the house- I am not going to eat it. When I used to grocery shop-- I would buy whatever I wanted-- junk food and all. Now, we just don't do it. The most junk food that we would have in our house would be weight*watchers candy and baked chips with salsa... sometimes there is low fat ice cream. When you compare it to what I used to have in my house- that is pretty darn good. Not to mention, buying all the crap really takes a toll on your grocery bill. Don't get me wrong- we splurge every once and a while.. but all in all... we are doing pretty well cutting WAY back on the junk.

SOO.. in today's Sunday paper, there are three sections of coupons to go through - and on top of it, in a grocery section it mentions that a grocery store down the way is having double coupon days- and you can use up to three coupons per item. This made me excited. Which brings me to the point of this blog--

I am a nerd because the thought double coupons and saving more money actually gets a rise out of me.

I believe that even if we didn't HAVE to watch our spending-- I would anyways. I think in todays world, everyone should. We have decided as of July to go down to one car- and look to purchase a used moped. We are shutting down the upstairs of our home this winter- turning off the heat, blocking off the stairs (in a very cute and eye pleasing way- OF COURSE) and when we have guests- it call all be reversed, and the heat turned on up stairs for their visit. I just wish this area was more commuter friendly - had better buses, even a train system - I would, no DOUBT, be on that instead of driving. One HUGE splurge we have is to take our dog to doggy day care. I don't understand it. Mic pays for it... I refuse to. I have talked to her, and we have come to an agreement that we will start taking him one day a week instead of two.... if and when I become pregnant - so we can save that money for baby-ishstuff. We have made some pretty dumb decisions in the past-- over spending on furniture and a tv. Thankfully in less than a year that will be paid off (0 interest, of course) and we can save THAT money, too. We both agree that we do not need "new" anything. We can live with what we have. The end.

Sadly, sometimes I do feel a twinge of jealousy when I hear that so-in-so just got a new whatever... and wish that we had that extra money to do that with...but it is a fleeting thought...as I realize that I have everything that I could want... and more than a lot of people. Like I have mentioned a million times before here, in conversations, in emails and letters-- that I am really blessed. I may have a different life than others, I may not make the same decisions that some do, I may not look as beautiful as others, but Lord, thank you for my life and all of my blessings.

I am done with my ranting. I have laundry calling my name - and then we are off to Mic's parents house for Sunday dinner. This morning did bring a surprise, though- when I got a phone call from my mom inviting us all out (Mic, Cosmo and I) for homemade soup. I had to decline- and it broke my heart as she, prior to me dating Mic, would never invite my partner into their home.



Only ten more work days until I am on vacation. wooot!

I love where I live

Milwaukee...

Balls.

My new favorite show:

Shirts and Skins... on Logo.


So, I am not being very PC when I describe it as a bunch of sorta queeny guys playing some pretty good basketball... they go around the house they live in calling each other.. "grrrrrl".. LOVE IT.

On the funeral home tip.... the owners wife is this proper southern woman with bleach blonde hair and bright red lipstick. We are doing a service for a gentleman who died overseas while on a trip with is wife. Very sad.

Owners wife.. I will call her.. Blonde Ambition.. stated in her southern accent (which she is trying SO HARD to hold on to) "This may be the largest funeral in BR history... he was the President of Brookfield"

*blink*

President of Brookfield.

Brookfield is a town.

In Wisconsin.

She meant mayor.


I replied with a simple.. "Yes, Blonde Ambition, it just may be"

I love my job... we need a camera crew following us around. It is by far the weirdest job I have ever had.

Trick-or-treat smell my feet....

Last night was a BLAST. Mic and I went over to my sister's house who does trick or treat with the neighborhood association- long and short of it is, that one "block" is the haunted block - and then the other homes in about a four block radius can hand out candy that has been paid for by the association. There was a really good live band on one block-- there were kids and families galore .. and people really went all out to decorate their homes and really get in the spirit. My mom and dad were there-- and even my brother showed up. I had a GREAT time. Mic and I brought treats for all of the kids that were at my sisters... oreo spiders and witch's hats...

Today we had the trick or treat in our neighborhood. Much more "hood" but the kids still seemed to have fun. Until it started to hail...

I do not want to see another piece of candy for a year.

I am currently coming off of a sugar high, and I think I am going to pop 40 Year Old Virgin in the tiny little tv in the bedroom, and sneak in there while Mic is watching the 238th football game today. *snore*

numero uno

Cycle Day One, people.

Fresh start.

wonderful!

Thank you for saying what so many of us wish we could....

nixnooxes!

I had my 2 nieces, nephew, and Mic's goddaughter overnight. We had a ball! We took a long walk around the neighborhood looking for cool Halloween decorations, collected beautiful leaves, came home and had "mummy" dogs and apples for dinner, watched, danced and sang to the movie "Hairspray", did some art projects and played a lot of the card game, "blink". Throw in some fake teeth, woopie cushions, noses that you strap on your face and candy snot drips out of and - BOOM- you got'choself one heck of a slumber party!!!

They stayed up until 1:00am. I crashed out by 12:15.

Today we got up and hand chocolate chip pancakes, went to the park, and took the kids to watch Madeline's soccer game.

I am exhausted... and tonight I am going to a Melissa Ferrick concert.

This week at work was tough. I know, I have a sad job. I am wondering if god is trying to tell me something. Just this week... we had a stillborn and a woman who passed away unexpectedly at the age of 37-- and she was 3 or 4 months pregnant. She was beautiful, looked to be healthy-- the family, obviously, is devastated. For the first time, I do not want to go to work tomorrow. I usually go in before every funeral, talk to the deceased about how much their family loves them and will miss them, I say a little prayer... and I just help in making sure that everything will go smoothly. I hope I can find it in myself to do that with this service. I have been crying since we got the call. There are more details... I need not go into them. It is just even more proof about how short life is, and that you honestly don't know when it will be your last breath.... I can honestly say that I am thankful for each moment... even the shitty ones, as oprah says... When something goes crappy in your life (ooh.. I don't know if OPRAH said crappy-- but you get the jist) say "thank you" because even out of crappy something good comes... a lesson is learned.... a habit is changed.. SOMETHING.

Oh.. Oprah.


To leave you on a lighter note, before I go take a nap to gain SOME energy before tonight...

My nephew.. Chase.

I love him-- he makes me laugh....he didn't take out these fake teeth for an hour.

hell to the yeah.

WAHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Connecticut is in the hizzy..!!!!!!

I give. I GIVE

I am going to start temping.

I have the digital smiley face things-- the sticks.. I thought that was enough. I made my own chart, because that damn FF thing gave me seizures. I wanted this to be simple. I believe that it will.. I just need to add one more step. I have this fear that I will become obsessed with the temping. I have an addictive personality.

The lines have been getting darker on the sticks, I moved to the smileys, but there haven't been any - and the lines seem to be going away. Did I miss it? I don't know.

I feel really disappointed...

I emailed everyone involved to let them know that the ceremony is off. We have named "it" The Ceremony as there is absolutely nothing ceremonial about any of it.. and, if we attemped to make it ceremonial in some sorty of hippy pixie way- we would be laughing too hard to ever get it done.

So, there is always next month..

Nothin' left to do but smile smile smmmiillllle

Tonight was Kirsten's 'Celebration of Life' gathering. It was good to see all of her friends there, so many co-workers and family. She had many people who really loved her. Mic and I got to spend a few moments with our friends Wendy and Angela-- I would like to see more of them. Mic is designated driver for the gang... she is going to have a late night.

On my way home I stopped at Walgreens and got some smiley face opk sticks.... as the lines have been getting progressively darker on my others.

So, now I get to pee on a stick.. and hopefully it will be smiling back at me. I love science.

I am feeling a little ho-hum... so, I am going to pop some popcorn and watch my DVR'd shows in my nice quiet house.

Can one plan for something like this?

WARNING: There may be just too much information in the next paragraph.. you have been warned.



So- this cervical mucus situation... um.. well.. hahah.. uuuhh.. how can you tell if it is fertile um.. "stuff" or.. if aaahhhh.. well. If you are just randy?


I haven't shown a positive on the OPK, but there are other interesting things going on.

I don't know how many people actually read this-- so I may post that question (with fear of being shunned) on my "lezzies trying to conceive" message board.


This weekend, I am hoping, is going to be "the time" .. and that would work out well for my plans.

Okay- that just seems wrong.. that I am trying to work this all around MY plans. *sigh*

An hour and a half of my life...

was just spent between sitting in front of my tv thinking....

I understand we aren't voting for the vice-president.. we are voting for the president... but, this election-- I really think that we ARE voting for the vice prez... as I am pretty sure that taking into consideration the physical toll that the office puts onto a person (of course- I am only assuming), McCain isn't going to last long. Sarah Palin is a playground bully who in no way should be representing this country.

Also, if I hear the word "maverick" one more time.... I am going to retreat to the corner of the room to tear out my toenails one by one.

Now .. more importantly--- bentos. I think they are very very small. It would never work out for me. I would need a "big bidnizz bento"

Bento Box

I am fascinated with these bento lunches.... bento boxes and the cuteness that people put into their lunches. This community has some great ideas and photos.

I am wondering what I can make out of the items in my fridge and pantry ...

egg beaters
fiber one strawberry yogurt
reduced fat shredded cheese
diet coke
low sodium soy sauce
two cans of Guinness
baked scoops
fruit and nut bars
low fat mint chocolate chip ice cream
whole grain bagels

lemme say that I am going to bet on the fact that whatever it is, Michelle wouldn't touch it.

Yeah. I need to go to the grocery and get laundry done. All of that boring chore stuff. zzzzzzz.

couple more weeks until I get knocked up. Or, at least that is my thought process. I am going to think like I am... visualize it... oprah it... and it will be. It worked for all of those people in that Secret video I was forced to watch... it is going to work for me. Oh, and just an fyi, I am going to will the lotto, too.

yes.

I am so glad that The Office is back on.

It made my day.

Goodbye, dear...

Today Mic called me at work to let me know they found her sister's very best friend, Kirsten, dead in her home... she died of a blood clot in her lung overnight.

She was just 38 years old.

Please keep Kristine- Mic's sister, in your prayers. Please keep Kirsten's brother, Erik, in your prayers-- Kirsten and he just lost their mom on the 4th of July.

Kristine and Kirsten were in contact every hour of every day. They were closer to one another than Kristine was with her husband.

She was just at our house on Saturday for the party-- we talked about her family, house projects, and just whatever you talk about when you think you will see someone again soon.

May you find peace, Kirsten.... I pray you have been reunited with your mom--

You will be missed by many, my dear....


Two hours ago- we got a call from Mic's mom-- her Uncle John has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and will be undergoing surgery on the 6th of October. Uncle John and Aunt Betty are AMAZING people-- who care SO much and DO so much for everyone.

Today hasn't been the best of days.

Anniversary Party

Mic's mom and dad's 40th surprise wedding anniversary party went off without a hitch. They were SOOO SURPRISED!!! I really believe that all of our hard work paid off.. everyone had a great time-- and I, for one, am so glad that life can now go back to normal. 60 people were in our tiny back yard. The decorations and banners and lights, and candles and everything looked WONDERFUL! The food was delish!! I did a speech that I think everyone enjoyed... oh, one odd thing-- their very good friend who is a priest and was going to do a renewal of the vows never showed up. Mr. and Mrs. K never KNEW that was going to happen-- so, they are none the wiser. I am sure some priestly emergency came up.

Michelle indulged far too much in the homemade sangria, and she has been horizontal on the couch ever since we have finished cleaning up. I am just wandering around. Literally. It drives Mic batty!

Wandering and thinking about not being pregnant.

IT IS OKAY. I am keeping positive.. and realizing that everything happens for a reason. Now I am just waiting for AF to come on full force... so I can start again with CD1.... and see where this next month will take us.

I figured with was going to be an adventure :)

Its weird though. There are VERY few people in my everyday life that know that we are trying. I just am that kind of person that doesn't want to get everyones hopes up-- then disappoint. Or, to have people always asking about it. Amy, Angie, Angela, Mo, and Greg..oh, and Mic's hair stylist...that is the ONE person she has confided in...(huh.) .....yet, when Mic and I are around our friends, they are constantly asking us about babies. Sara cornered me at the party last night and went on and on about us having one, and that they still have everything from their baby in the basement-- and books on conceiving.. and an attorney.. (she confessed to getting goosebumps while talking to me about it) ... she "just knows" that we will someday. I just smiled at her and thanked her for thinking of us.. hugged her and told her that she was simply a nerd. She smacked me... and I quickly changed the subject. Just strange observation.. thats all.

Okay- back to wandering around... and bugging Mic while she tries to watch football and fight off her nauseousness.

Change of plans

I brought the tickets home- Mic was SO EXCITED-- she even went out and bought new GB shirts for us.... so we wouldn't stick out like sore thumbs.

We both slept on it, and then this morning prior to work were talking... I just don't think we are going to be able to go. We are going to be exausted from the night prior... there will be a TON of clean up...and just to much going on to be able to leave in time to make it to the game. Sure.. Green bay is only 2.5 hours away on a regular day... on game day.. it turns into about 5 because of the traffic.

So. We are officially "fun stoppers" (stealing that phrase from Angie :) )

I choked up a bit when I gave the tickets back.

I am a big lame femme. I don't even know the RULES of the game.. but I know Mic really wanted to go.

By the by-- I think PMS has hit hardcore. Today I was out of control. It would go away.. then back. So, I am sure AF will be knocking on my door any moment.

oh yeah...

And I scored some free Packer tickets at work today. The vault lady came giving them away... hollleerr.

AND they are club seats.

The only glitch is that it is SUNDAY NIGHT. It is a 7:15 game, in Green Bay-- which is about 2.5 hours away.... and it is the day after the big anniversary party (of which we are SO not prepared). I think that we can do it. I am up for the challenge. The only other time that I was at Lambeau field-- it was SUCH an adrenaline rush..... that place is like no other...

Michelle was SO EXCITED when I brought them home. Good surprise!

Why did I do it?

I don't know why I did-- but I tested. It is WAY too early to test, but I thought-- eh, why not? Of course it was negative. I knew it would be. Suddenly-- eventhough I talk the talk.. now I have to walk the walk--- that this didn't really work. I AM okay with it, just moped a bit yesterday. I have to keep reminding myself-- if it isn't this time-- it may just be next time.... or the next.

I really wanted to be pregnant before I was 35. That gives me one more try.

This past weekend we spent a wonderful morning out at my mom and dads. They were thrilled to see us. We also went to get firewood.... it was a sloppy rainy day. We were given rain slickers... and sent down to the woods.

Here we are... I'm playing the part of the Gordon Fisherman.

Geek I am.

nada

whole heck of a lot going on around here these days. I am looking forward to the weekend, though- we have a birthday party for a friend that moved just up the way... so we can get out our bikes, and ride on up. I think it will be a nice day.

I have been a bit ho-hum... dunno why... just trying to shake it. I am sad that summer is winding down.

Well, okay, I may know. Today we did the service for this woman... one person came. She never had children... had no family left. For the death certificate, we didn't even know her mom and dad's names. I was so sad... thinking-- this could be me.. who knows. Then, I did find out that she was divorced twice, met a man later in life that she took care of-- and he left her a house and his money-- and she had a big old HUGE diamond ring on. NOT THAAT THAT MEANS ANYTHING--- other than she DID have a life at some point. She had dementia for many years prior to her passing..

it was just a ... sad... weepy day..

Thats all.

holy crap.

for some reason everything is in line today... I don't know if it is a fluke, or what is going on, I was looking for CD 23 or so-- today is CD14. I don't want to miss it if it is, though-- so....

We are getting ready for our first insem. today. in an hour.

HOLY CRAP.

*inhale*

Contract Signed.

*exhale*

EEP!

Labor Day

We did it up! Mic and I traveled to lands far far away--(Appleton) and spent some time with Greg and Maurice. Fun as always! Saturday we ventured even farther north to Shawano Lake! Holy crap, that is a big lake! Greg's parents live there and they graciously opened their home to us. They were SO NICE. They are my new favorite PFLAG parents! In real life they don't belong to PFLAG, but in my make believe land, they were my parents, and they attended the meetings, and they bragged about me, their lesbian daughter. They don't know that, and I don't really feel the need to tell them. its my secret life. They were wonderful hosts!

Anywho, they made us lunch, let us use their boat, took us out for a burger, let our dog run around like a crazy mutt loving every moment of being in the water (he even jumped off the boat -- with life jacket of course-- about 4 times!!)!! We enjoyed our day and then went back to Appleton to club it up. I got to meet up with some people that I rarely see.. and had some laughs. It was wonderful. Since I am really not drinking much anymore, I think I had two drinks the whole day/night- and the rest was water. It was SO NICE to be in clubs that don't have smoking. I don't know when Milwaukee is going to jump on that bandwagon, but I look forward to that day.

Sunday we came home early-ish and went right to work. This weekend it was our mission to get the garage scraped and painted, and the curtains and windows washed. This anniversary party is sneaking up on us!

Here is Maurice-- catching some rays.

So sad...

Today I read that Del Martin passed away yesterday...

I am so thankful that she and Phyllis were able to marry after so many years together.... they are true pioneers for the gay and lesbian community.

My heart goes out to Phyllis.... I can only imagine.. after 55 years together, the loneliness that she is feeling right now...

So!

I will be calling the attorney tomorrow. We have a couple of things to talk with her about. I am going to be getting my period in the next day or day 1/2.. So, next month it will be our first try.

I need to figure something out-- I get a positive opk on or about CD 26.. should I be trying 48 hours BEFORE that, or within 48 hours AFTER that?? I read a womans blog that stated she was going to be trying about 48 hours BEFORE she should be getting the +OPK, and now, I am totally second guessing myself.

This weekend was wonderful. We sat on the deck.. played cards.. grilled homemade pizza... and relaxed.

I lost 7 lbs this week. Thankyoujesus.

Mic and her sister (I guess that would include me, too-- cuz I live here) are hosting her parents 40th wedding anniversary party in our back yard in September. That means biiiiiggg projects around the house and whatnot. Mic and her friend DJ worked on the invites this weekend (The "save the dates" were sent out weeks ago) - he has his own graphic design company... and he used the picture below as part of the front of the invite. They rock the hizzy. And I think the picture is adorable. They love each other THAT much, still, to this day.

It has been...

a hellish couple of weeks at work. The moment our GM walked out the door to the time he came back-- it was INSANE. We did so many funerals, I can't even remember family names. And that is awful... as I like giving everyone really personal service. It wasn't because he was gone, or that he goes above and beyond when he is there.. it is because when anyone mentions the words "I am going on a vacation on (insert day here) through (insert day here)"... God throws her weight around, and people die. Its just that simple.

But *deep breath* its a new week... and.... I it is going to be FINE.

We had a wonderful weekend.. on Friday I went to lunch with my sisters and mom and had a wonderful time. Went to The Palms downtown..one of my favorite places. The service was A+ as always, and the food was deeeelish! Saturday we went to a couple parties had fun.. Sunday was Irish Fest and it was HOT AS HELL. I couldn't even really enjoy the music... as I was just so uncomfortable. At least I got to spend some time with my family-- that was nice!

Now... back to work. We are staying at home this next weekend and I am SO thankful. I just want to chill.. maybe watch a movie.. just be quiet.
This is a picture of my nieces, nephews, Mic and I. I don't know if you can tell from the picture just how much pain I am in with the sunburn on my face-- and that I am DRIPPING sweat. Amy-- be glad you didn't come down this year. I find it ironic that the one festival in Milwaukee for the Irish (the whitest people on this earth) is during the hottest, sunniest month of the year. I think they just want to make a profit on sunscreen.

I survived!

I had a great time this weekend-- I wish I had some great photo's to share-- but I just didn't really take any-- unfortunately. The weather was perfect. We rented a boat all day Saturday. The whole clan just tooled around the Chain-o'-Lakes.. swam, chatted, and enjoyed everyones company.

We had one rain shower the whole weekend, but it didn't put a damper on ANYTHING! We stayed at Hartman Creek State Park in Waupaca- this is the second year for that. Its a nice park... and has a TON of trails if we would ever actually have enough time for hiking or biking while we were up there. I guess that we are now camping the first weekend in October with the fam up in Door County for their Pumpkin Patch Festival.
Super. It got to about 40 degrees at night this past weekend- I can't even IMAGINE the first weekend in October. I am going to have to find my mittens!!

I had my LH surge. I am a fertile myrtle right now.

Its been a year already?

Yes. The fam-damly is getting ready to go on the annual camping trip. My sisters, their husbands, the kids, my parents (they camp at the Comfort Suites). Its going to be a doozy, I can just feel it! Somehow I have to figure out how to keep the stick-peeing under wraps, as I can't stop charting NOW!

We aren't leaving until after work on Friday. I won't have time to get a lot of stuff together tomorrow, as we are going to the State Fair. That is just how I roll. The State Fair and camping... all within days apart from one another. Life in the fast lane. I can hardly keep up with myself.

I love Amy- I don't tell her that enough. Amy, I love you. You have been my friend for a long time- and I look forward to being old together someday. Thank you for your kind words, and positive messages. They help. They really do.

Things ARE going to be okay.

Strange.

On the 2nd my OPK came out positive. I did it in the morning-- not normal for me.. usually it is in the late evening. I was shocked.. showed Michelle-- had conversations.. went to the farmers market.. blah blah blah, came home and did it again. This time- nuthin.

Has this ever happened before to anyone?

New Sticks

I went to the store to get some new OPK sticks- I usually get the ones in cased in plastic.. and like a good lesbo ttc, I have lined them up, compared the lines.... still no pictures, though. That was last month. Should I even admit to having them in the drawer.. like.. right over there ----> Okay. yeah. I will throw those out. *nervous giggle*

Anyways- I decided to get the paper stick things this time. The kind you don't pee ON but hold IN your pee. I have never peed on my hands so many times. I thought we had plastic cups in this house.. nonono. .. in fact I KNOW we have plastic cups.. the red ones. The ones that you give you your friends that are hanging out by the fire and you write their names on them cuz daaaamnn we go through a lot of red cups. Yeah- those... I can't find them. We don't have a lot of "stuff" and yet when I need something.. I don't know where it is. I have NOT checked the garage, yet. They may be near my bin of "flamingo party decorations". Yeah. I have a bin of that-- and it is so important, that I didn't label a piece of tape and stick it on the bin... I labeled the bin ITSELF with a permanent marker. I love entertaining.

AAANNNYYWHHOOOOOO... I have been peeing in the little plastic.. "could I have a side of sour cream with my burrito?" cup. Who's idea was it to even include that in the OPK box? Though, I should be grateful... I'm the lame-o who can't find a grown up cup to pee in.

Back to the reason of the post. The lines are possibly getting a little darker each day... and.. now.. I am lining them up on a note card... and stapling them all next to one another-- and then labeling. No longer do I have to keep the plastic OPK pee-sticks.... which are now down there..



in the garbage.

Tomorrow night I am going out with a funeral director from work-- should be a hoot.. she and I have the same sense of humor..and she has a wonderful laugh. I love hanging with people like that. I called Mic and said..

me: "hey babe- tomorrow night, Jamie and I are goi-"
Mic: "GO".

hrm. someone needs alone time.

:)

AAAHHHH.

This weekend was wonderful. I enjoyed every moment of it, even the three hour drive.... there AND back. Cosmo swam like CHAMP... Mic didn't even think he was going to get in the water-- he was AWESOME the whole time. We are very proud dog-moms. The weather in Townsend, Wisconsin couldn't have been better, and I didn't get sunburned once. I am right on track for "My Whitest Summer Ever". :)

I did have the talk with Mic about trying-- its a no go. She is very adamant about getting all of our ducks in a row before we try anything. I understand her reasons, and I honor them.

I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow- I haven't thought about death for four whole days. I looked in the paper when I got home, though-- and I have a very busy week ahead of me. While dealing with that, though-- I will be figuring out how to strike it rich in order to afford our very own up north getaway cabin. I wish.

Here is Cosmo, our super beach dog who looked too damn cute in his life jacket.

I am having a talk

With Mic tomorrow night. We will be driving up nort' way up past the rez. (LOL.. I feel so up nort when I say 'rez') to stay with Patty and Pat at the cabin on the lake in Townsend. I want to ask Mic if it would be okay with her that we try to insem this month *prior to contract being signed*-- as in.. soon. I just have a feeling it will take a few trys-- if it happens at all. And I really don't want to WAIT anymore. Technically-- it will already be August when I will be a fertile mertel. Sooooooooo- we haven't gotten the final contract done- we have all looked it over and agreed on it.. and there will not be any issues with it, anyways. So- yeah. We are gonna have a chat. Because if she is a stickler on this contract thing-- then it will be ANOTHER month.

Tonight we went to a friends mother's memorial service. It was nice, but sad. Even though I work in a funeral home and deal with sad everyday it makes such a huge difference when you see someone you know go through loss. Today was a ssaaadd weepy day at work-and after. I am weeped out. Odd, though- they had food there-- and there was polish sausage. As I like to say-- polishsshasshige. (sound it out). I have NEVER had so much damn polish sausage since I started dating Mic.. I have never dated anyone who was polish and from south milwaukee.. MAN.. its hilarious.. polish sausage everywhere-- easter, christmas, weddings... and now funerals. I am surprised they didn't have punchkies for desert! (google it-- its a little polish jelly donut--- lish!)

Finally

A bit of ordinary. I got my period 14 days after the day the OPK came back positive. I am really happy about this.. because I got a + on the OPK on cycle day TWENTY EIGHT!!!!! I was worried my period would be all screwed up again this month-- like last month-- but, hopefully that isn't the case-- and I will have a + OPK on a "normal" cycle day.

Today was ffuunnnnn... Mic and I took my two nieces and nephew and a friends daughter to bumper bowl, and then went to the grocery store to get the fixin's for a good Mexican dinner-- and then they played outside until the street light came on. They had a blast... I was happy that MacKenzie came along-- as she was "new meat" for my nieces and nephews...

I was thinking about how my sister does it-- full time stay at home mom to three VERY VERY ACTIVE AND INVOLVED kids who are woonnndderrffuull. It has got to be the hardest job ever-- and she is a VERY involved mom. If I am blessed with a child-- if there was one women that I would look upon as a mom and want to emulate-- it would be her. She is sooo creative, patient, and good with the kids. She has only their best interest at hand.. and she hasn't forgotten about her individuality. She rocks. She is my sister, and I love her.

Up Nort'

This weekend we went up north to visit very good friends, one of happens to be our KD. We were able to get a taste of Pride Alive - which is Green Bay's pride fest. It was pretty darn fun.. it was the first year, and they had a great turn out! Next year will even be better. I can honestly say I miss the small town feel of the Fox Valley- and there were times this weekend that I really wanted to just move back. It is beautiful.. affordable.. clean.. friendly...family friendly.. and gayer than most people can even imagine!

So, we had our "draft" version of our contract with us. We sat at lunch overlooking the Fox River on a beautiful sunny day to read it over. We are insisting .. as well as they are... that BOTH the KD and his partner are involved in this whole dealio--- and by whole I mean.. WHOLE *wink wink*. They agreed to everything that is in the contract.. but, as before discussed and agreed upon, we are having drawn up a second contract that if anything happens to BOTH Mic and I, that the child would go to them-- and they would act as guardians. So, now we have to gather resources, take it back to the attorney and go to step 32458. Hopefully, next month will be the start of the trying.

Mic was adorable- and pointed out this kinda modern punk-rocky diaper bag.. and said.. if we are blessed.. I would like this :)

It was a fantastic, fun, relaxing and gorgeous weekend- and tomorrow-- back to the grind.

pitter patter..

I saw this on another blog-- and played it-- and my whole body smiled... I hope it makes your whole body smile.

Love. this.

From- Where the Hell Is Matt . com


Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

CD28?!?!

I am stumped. Cycle day 28 and I am having an LH Surge?? I should be starting my period any day now. That is what I don't get. Unless you surge right before your period???? I am clueless.. its like science... and I hate science. :)

Happy 4th! Today we are going to pick up my 5 nieces and nephews and we are heading out to my aunts on the lake, it is a beautiful day and we are going to have a blast!!!! Mic is out setting up her hammock and she is determined to lay in it until it is time to leave. She is adorable. I love her.

hrm.

I have been tracking my ovulation since the time I thought I should be... 13 days after the first day of my period. This month, though-- my period was late, and just.. weird. This usually happens once a year- and it usually is in the beginning of summer. I don't know WHY that is-- but, that is the case. Is anyone else like this? Anyways- I have been peeing on the sticks, and i haven't really seen an evidence that I have ovulated. I was using the T*arget brand, and just thought I would try a different brand. Now I am using Answer. What I have read, there may be months that you don't ovulate.. or some womans cycle is longer than others. I suppose I can't really draw any conclusions until I have more data. I am just going to have to keep peeing-- and see where that gets me.

This weekend was a lot of fun- we went out and got some cheap-o tennis rackets -- (racquet's??) and hit the courts early on Saturday morning-- I suck. I admit it... but we had some great laughs (and this morning I could hardly get out of bed). Mic's b-day is tomorrow, so we were celebrating it on Saturday with some friends... we also celebrated Angela's b-day which was last week. We went out for some pizza and then off to a drag show. My god- how things have changed since I saw one a million years ago in Neenah at the Pivot Club. These 'gal's' looks faaaabulous! I was giving out dollars like they were growing on trees. Then we went out dancing and met up with people we haven't seen in a long time. Tomorrow I will be packing up some homemade cookies for her to take to work. I plan on putting them on my "It's Your Special Day" plate, and put them on the front seat of her car for a little surprise. For the last three years all she has wanted is a hammock. I have finally found one that I hope she will like-- part one was delivered to work this past week - and the stand should be there tomorrow. I don't know if I will have time to set it up-- but at least she will get it all at one time-- I don't know that she has any idea, and I hope to catch her off guard. I never am able to surprise her!

Okay-- going to get some reading done. I am reading "In to the Wild". I am loving it.

What to do...

I have been talking with a friend about what to do in order to get out of the house.... and get involved. We talked about scrap booking, cooking classes, art classes... things of that nature. On my way home today I was speaking with my mom over the phone, and she brought up this place called Kathy's House. A little background -- I was in a 7 year relationship with a woman named Lisa who passed away a year and a half ago from ovarian cancer at the age of 30. She and I were not "together" at the time- though I knew from the moment we broke up that I would always be a part of her life, and she of mine. Many webs tangled together, and we stayed very close... and I ended up being one of her main caregivers at her end of life. She stayed at Kathy's House when she would have to come into Milwaukee for chemo and other treatments. They are a "home away from home" for people in similar situations... when you have to go to a different city for major treatments, and don't have anywhere to go.. need transportation etc. It worked out wonderfully as they were able to take her to the hospital when I had to work, and they would just .. take care of her, when I physically couldn't be with her. So, because of that, instead of taking a class in something that I may or may not use-- or spend a ton of money on supplies etc-- then have them collect dust... I have decided to volunteer some time at Kathy's House. I have contacted them with a list of my abilities, but I honestly will do whatever. So, not only am I going to get out of the house.. I am going to be able to honor a very important person in my life.

Fresh Start

I have had journals online for as long as I can remember-- from Blurty to Livejournal to Myspace and blah blah blah. I love the idea of journaling online-- and I have really met some great people doing it. There was a time and reason for all of them-- Now it is time to move forward.. a time to close doors on the past - and open doors to the future.. but enjoying every moment of my life RIGHT NOW.

As a 34 year old, living in Milwaukee, who is in head over heals love with the woman of my dreams-- we are soon going to be joining the bandwagon of gazillions of lesbos around the world and trying our hand at starting a family of our own. I am one of the clueless ones, though-- I have a chart-- but I don't know how to use it, I have peed on sticks, though I haven't once taken a picture of them... I feel like I am behind the times! We have decided to be as natural as possible. We have contracts, and have paid money (uhh.. okay-- don't know what is NATURAL about all that rigamaroll) and have a donor.. now we are just hoping for the best. We have decided to try, to desire, to pray, to hope.. but we also have decided to not go overboard. I do NOT judge others-- this is just our journey. We are starting in August, and well, we will see where it goes from there.

So, there is much much more to me than just this whole "baby" shtuff..

um.

yuuuppp..

there.. iisssss.. uuuhh.

I am just a totally normal gal who works in a funeral home, who has a family who struggles to understand her, and a dog that totally kicks ass.