Anyone who has had read any of the previous drawn out, blubbering posts in this blog knows that I always say that God (Goddess, Higher Power, the Universe.. etc) has a plan for us..
I have been doing some soul searching over the last month, and I thought I would share some of my ideas here.
- I was laying in bed recently thinking about the whole "kid thing"and I had a memory pop into my head from a time that I was in high school- I remembered it like I was there. I was standing with friends talking about our future.. and I said.. "Oh.. I will have a child.. but I don't think I will HAVE (as I made a gesture of something coming out of my vaj)"
- I never got pregnant - and, TMI perhaps, I have been with a couple'a guys prior to dating women.. never then, either.
- In my job, I have heard HORRID stories of women (and assisted families of said women) (that I wont go into) and things that have happened to them while pregnant, in childbirth, or soon after childbirth... and these were completely healthy women. I am not healthy.
- There is an incredible women that I have in my life who is a foster mom, getting ready to adopt, and are an AMAZING source of information... and, their kids rock. For some reason she is still in my life,when she could have walked away many years ago... and I wouldn't have blamed her. (clarification- she is important to me far beyond just an information giver)
Now, like a hormonal teenager, I can't help but thinking.... do I call again? Will I seem like a total stalker? Do I wait for her to call me? Should I have kissed her right on the lips? ha ;)
Oh- and foster dog Jack comes tomorrow.. he has a clear-ish bill of health, and I have a feeling he will only be in our home for a short time before he goes to his "forever family" he is SUPER CUTE!!!