Sunday, August 7, 2011

Over stayed

I think I am over staying my welcome. It is hard for Mic to move on with me here... I think I am going to pack up as swiftly as I can... and move on.

We seemed to have caught a groove. We were doing okay. I was feeling at peace. Then she went out with a couple of friends of hers last night. I am going to guess they spent quite a bit of time talking about it... as I got texts from them today, and so did a friend of mine (which I think was completely out of line). Mic wrote a letter, and she was far more emotional today than she has been in a couple of weeks.

I don't mind her talking to them, as she needs to talk to someone. But if they are putting things in her head... then I will be pissed. The text that I got from one of them said.. "don't think that the grass is greener.. because it isn't... you will regret this" I am thinking, are they all thinking I am leaving mic for someone else?!!?!??! That isn't the case. Not for a moment. The grass will be greener because *I AM PLANTING MY OWN GRASS*. Smoke that, sister.

There were some other comments made.. but I don't want to dwell on it. I can't. I don't have the time or energy for drama. That is exactly what I wanted to escape. Mic and I shared almost 6 years together... she knows a LOT about me... and I her. There is no reason why there has to be a drama- snowball starting. I wont stand for it.

I am ready for some normalicy. Just a little. Please. preeettttttyyyy ppuullleeeeezzzeeeee.


abmayfield said...

I just wanted to de-lurk and reach out to you. It takes courage to step out of a situation you have been in for a long time, even when you are unhappy.

I've been on the other side of this situation and I know how it feels once you get to a point where you are ready for it to be done and you keep coming home to someone that you still love. I will tell you that I did some very mean things when I was there - and said quite a few things that were out of line. However, once it was over and the initial hurt had passed, she and I became great friends and moved on.

All in all you just have to know that you are doing what is right for you...and sometimes that's just a necessity. Sometimes you have to live for yourself and your needs.

Thinking of both of you...

Taradharma said...

I found your blog via Solo Homo...intrigued by the title, I linked. Wow.

I've read a few posts, and just want to say that you are doing what you must do -- I know, because 4 mos ago I left my wife of 11 years after agonizing about it for at least 2 years. I wasn't (and you aren't) doing anyone any favors by staying in a relationship that no longer works for you. In the long run she may come to understand this. I hope so. For both your sakes.

I didn't leave for another woman -- I am going solo for the foreseeable future -- I left for ME. I left a woman who is essentially good and sweet, but got lost in a fog of drugs and alcohol and couldn't find her way out. After much patience and understanding, I decided to save my own life.

My best wishes to you -- it gets so much better! You deserve (and so does she) to get what you want out of this short and precious life.

Mina said...

Okay, who the hell are they to meddle in your relationship? It's one thing to be a sounding board, but they crozzed the line completely. There are two sides to every story, and even if they don't agree--it's none of their freaking business!

I give you SO much credit for what you are doing.

Mina said...

*crossed! Sorry about that!

Pomegranate said...


A) sounds like they aren't really helping mix. Turning into a victim is hardly being supportive friends.

B) are these girls teenagers? Are they really so clueless about boundaries.

C) you probably know this, but it's hard to find normalcy when you live together. I once lived with an ex for 6 months. The entire time, my motivation was to "win her back". I didn't start healing until i moved out.