Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Day 3-Your first love

I am sure that there are people that insist that they are with their 1st love RIGHT NOW. For some, that may be true. For me, it isn't. I like to think that I was able to learn a lot about my MYSELF before I found my Mic. My first love was a big part of that discovery for me.

I have written about her here already.. so some of you already may know the story. Her name was Lisa and she was a feisty, muscular, talented, smart, funny butch woman that I would lose myself in. She and I were together for 7 years, and it was up and down and you never knew what the heck was going to happen next... it was passionate, and not always in the good way. We met when she asked me to dance. From that moment on - that was it. I was caught.. hook line and sinker. My family loved her just as much as I.

Our partnership ended when she cheated on me. I can still feel the sting when I think back about those days. When I thought I would literally go insane dialing the cell phone over and over and over. My heart broke.

The connection never stopped though. I moved on - she moved on.. into new relationships, but we kept in close contact.

I was one of her caretakers, along with my bff Maurice and my sisters when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when she was 30. She died when she was 31.

I think of her all the time. Think of things I wish I would have said and remember the great times we had. I try to put the yucky stuff behind me - but I still know I have baggage from it to this day.

She was my first love - and she helped me be a better love to Mic.


paradykes said...

That's really touching, it's amazing the trials we have to go through to become who we are and we're constantly evolving and going through new trials so we're always becoming a "new" version of ourselves. I know my past put me on the path to find Ash so I will forever be greatful for a few really bad years, without them I wouldn't be where I am today.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

I've had to great loves and although I'm so happy now, that first love always holds a special spot. Anyone who denies that fact is either lying or they were never truly in love with the person.

Thanks for sharing these memories.
BTW I didn't find it depressing but hope you enjoyed your drink anyway.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

That's supposed to be "two" great loves. Damn bad typing fingers!

Anonymous said...

Oh Lisa. I miss her too. She sure did piss me off that one St. Patrick's day though. She was absolutely feisty. But NO ONE puts my Casey in the corner. :) Love you. I'm glad you have a healthy, mature, loving relationship now.

SonyaAnn said...

That story brought up so many of my own memories. I guess we go through what we do to become who we are today. I have had a rough road too.
Thank you for sharing.

Meredith said...

Beautifully written- and honest.