distractions

As anyone that has gone through this process of waiting.. for a smiley face, to POAS, to go to the doc, to wait for home visits...for another caseworker meeting... however it is that you go about your process of waiting for your family, you know how it can be. You also know how all consuming it is. Thinking about it CONSTANTLY. All consuming. LITERALLY. I have a new distraction in person form. I was on facebook one night and suddenly there is a friend request from 1/2 of a couple that I knew years ago when I lived up'nort. I about died. She and her other 1/2 broke up after 17 years together. We had a lot of catching up to do. From that moment on (a couple of weeks ago), I have been talking to her a LOT. More than any of my other friends. To the point that Mic asked me if I was leaving her. I know she knows I am NOT leaving her.. but that is how abrupt it was. My friend and I picked up where we left off. She talks. A lot. I listen and ask questions- I am good at that. She is also almost computer illiterate (I call her ex-Amish-- she knows sorta how to get around on facebook.. and that about sums it up.) so she calls me and it forces me to talk on the phone...in the MORNING. Anyone who knows me knows that I will do whatever I can to get out of a phone conversation. After being on the phone all day at work.. it is the LAST thing I want to do. We don't talk about anything special. She talks a lot about her ex.. and I know her, and I am the only other gay person in her life that does know her... so I think that makes her feel comfortable. She talks about her mom and sister who I know-- her dad..work.. stuff like that. As I was driving to work today it hit me like a brick... I like talking to her because I haven't told her about the foster/adopt process yet. I have told her all about Mic and I and everything we do... but not THAT. I have all of this time to NOT talk about it... to not think about it... to not OBSESS about it. I don't have to talk about caseworkers or what-if's or what if-not's and everything that goes along with it. I don't have to cry or wonder or worry. I just have to talk about nothing and listen to her talk about her life. At first I felt guilty that I was talking to her SO MUCH. But now, I don't want to stop. It gives me time to NOT think about waiting.. to concentrate more on my relationship with Mic, to have other things floating around in my brain instead of baby stuff... suddenly I am looking forward to doing fun things in the summer, to introducing her to all of my friends, to have her as part of Mic's and my circle. Today is going to be a good day because it is just GOING to be. No tears, extra prayers, no daydreams.. just a day to enjoy. Thassit. *exhale*

Day 9-A picture of your friends

I have been working a trade expo for days.. and I am tired.... and I have to work again tomorrow. So. Lemme see what I can dig up on this laptop...because I don't feel like going downstairs.

Upside of the expo: there are a LOT of lesbos that want to renovate their home.. and I get to look at them. so... yah. thats nice, I guess.

okay. I looked for pictures. I can't put any from this computer that my friends who read this wouldn't say "DEAR GOD, CASEY, TAKE THAT DAMN PICTURE OFF YOUR BLOG!!!"

so. I am gonna play it safe on this one.

Day 8-A place you’ve traveled to

Suddenly I am finding this 30 day thing kinda boring.. where is the meat here? Don't you want saucy, dirty, juicy? About me and sex, love, life, food, embarrassing moments, poop stories and whatever else?

Anyways.. .what was the question? where have I traveled?

Uh.

Here.
(Ireland)
And here..

(Mexico City)

And here... (Appleton.)

Obviously I have been many more places....I should write about the fun and the meaning of the trip. Let me sum it up here: I probably drank a bit in each place and at one time made out with a bunch of guys... and later in my life.. made out with chics instead. I am sure some really funny stuff happened where ever it was. I have fun when I travel.

In conclusion: take a trip with me, I will buy you a drink and force you to make out with people.

What's tomorrow... Day 9: What I had for breakfast. ?

Day 7-Favorite movies

Easy Cheesy (I invite you to clicksie)

Grey Gardens

40 Year old Virgin

Silence of the Lambs

I am also in love with every gay and lesbian movie I rented from Blockbuster on video tape when I was making my journey out... any movie I saw with a special someone, most documentaries and some soft porn (haha)

that would be a big list. so just use your imagination :)

Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy

This is probably going to be one of the hardest for me. I could put a gazillion pictures. I will try to narrow it down though. Please note that I am limited to the photos that are on my laptop. So sue me if you aren't shown.

My dog, Cosmo - we thought it would be a fabulous idea to get a new puppy just 3 months into our relationship! why not??? This is at my old apartment -- he used to fit on the bottom of my computer desk. Now, he is 106lbs and takes up a whole bed. Here is my dear friend, Amy (I call her Nonny) We are in the dorm room at college getting ready for a night on the town. We are going for white and whiter. My perm courtesy of the girl in beauty school down the hall from us.
Mo, Me and Greg. State Fair. Priceless. I love them. My wiff and I on our "honeymoon" camping. The picture of happy :)

Missing photos of: family, geocaching, my neighbors, my co workers, my bike, hiking trails, my bed, aveda products, q-tips, sunscreen.. I could go on.

SIDENOTE: I just finished typing this and I turned to Mic and said... "can you believe we got Cosmo after being together for 3 months??? Did you know in your heart that you were going to be together for a long time at that point??? "

She turned to me and said, "NO! I mean.. that is 90 DAYS! People go to rehab for 90 days.. How would I know that we were going to be together??"

She abruptly stopped that thought after my glare burned through her skin.

Time to play some catch up...

Mo and Greg have departed after a fun 24 hours of lunch/Harley Davidson Museum/Dinner/wine/more drinks to celebrate Reb's b-day/drag show/dancing/drinks and this morning an estate sale (and found awesome stuff we didn't know we needed until we saw it).

I.am.exausted. Just to add to it, I wasn't even drinking after my two glasses of yummy wine at dinner. Why am I the only one who can't keep my eyes open?

Back to it...

Day 5-Your siblings
I am the fourth child. I have an older brother who is almost 48, I think. I also have two sisters (twins) who are 46. There is 8 years difference between my sisters and I. So, instead of being the youngest of four, it often felt as if I was the only child. My sisters had each other to chum around with and they kind of lived in their own little twin world. My brother was so much older than me that I don't remember much of him growing up. My memories start when he was out of the house already. I don't really remember much of him living at home. I know he did. I just blocked it out, apparently.

My sisters are beautiful and have wonderful children and husbands that I don't think are good enough for them. My brother was married at one point and is now divorced. He has suffered with a series of strokes. He is fine, but has made poor choices in his life. We have all tried to help him MANY times - but he continues to go down a path that isn't taking him anywhere - and quickly. I have stepped away from the situation, as he is an adult and if he feels he doesn't need help, that is his decision.

Growing up I remember thinking my sisters were my other moms. They liked bossing me around. They still do :). I remember mom and dad leaving and them having huge house parties, and I would be upstairs in my bed. They would skip out of school a lot and have me get their pink slips out of the mailbox before my mom and dad would come home (I was a latch key kid). They loved giving me horrible perms and trying to teach me how to dress and wear make up. We weren't close then but as adults have grown much closer.

I think that is all I want to share right now about them. I adore my siblings.... and I am in the frame of mind (kind of cranky) (and heard more stuff about my brother today) that I am on the verge of saying something that I shouldn't share - and/or regret in the future.

I am going to have to wait for more catch up until after my nap. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ohnoooooooo

I missed a post :(

But for good reason: Fish Fry Friday. Then I came home and cleaned the house in preparation of Mo and Greg coming to town!!!

I may miss tomorrow's post too!!!!!! I will catch up- pinky swear!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 4-Your parents

My parents......fun, a little crazy, drink too much, sing too loud, cry too often. Softies. They love their kids so much, and their wine and Jack probably just as much.

My parents are and always have been full of emotion. If one moment it is anger.. the very next moment we could all be in a full on belly laugh, dancing on the patio or crying over the saddest story we have ever heard.

My childhood had challenges... but I choose not to dwell on them..... I choose to learn FROM them.

Mom - well, she has this creativeness that amazes me. She was an RN then became an antique dealer. She is hilarious and independent and absent minded. She knows more about history and artifacts than anyone I know. She knits and used to play the guitar and do pottery. When I freak out that I am turning into her... I calm myself by realizing there is no one I would rather turn in to. I love her.

Dad - he has white hair, is big and has these ice blue eyes that actually smile on their own. He has welcoming, comforting hugs, and has always had my best interest at heart. He is an emotional man and makes no apologies for it. He was the VP of sales for a company out in the boondocks near where I grew up. He traveled a lot, and was able to show my mom some wondrous parts of the world because he had to go there for work. He carves wood, and loves to share the trinkets he makes with his grandchildren. He is proud of his ancestry and growing up along the St. Lawrence seaway and having a family that was heavily involved in the railroad and who came from Ireland. He has passed his family's information along on paper. But I do not know his family. I met my uncles maybe a couple of times...I don't remember much. His parents died young, and his in laws were his parents longer than his birth parents. I love him.

sidenote

well- that was depressing. I can't go to bed with that last entry fresh on my brain.

I just had a wonderful brandy old fashioned and a Irish quesadilla at my favorite corner dive bar.

It was so *Bleepin'* good.

Day 3-Your first love

I am sure that there are people that insist that they are with their 1st love RIGHT NOW. For some, that may be true. For me, it isn't. I like to think that I was able to learn a lot about my MYSELF before I found my Mic. My first love was a big part of that discovery for me.

I have written about her here already.. so some of you already may know the story. Her name was Lisa and she was a feisty, muscular, talented, smart, funny butch woman that I would lose myself in. She and I were together for 7 years, and it was up and down and you never knew what the heck was going to happen next... it was passionate, and not always in the good way. We met when she asked me to dance. From that moment on - that was it. I was caught.. hook line and sinker. My family loved her just as much as I.

Our partnership ended when she cheated on me. I can still feel the sting when I think back about those days. When I thought I would literally go insane dialing the cell phone over and over and over. My heart broke.

The connection never stopped though. I moved on - she moved on.. into new relationships, but we kept in close contact.

I was one of her caretakers, along with my bff Maurice and my sisters when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when she was 30. She died when she was 31.

I think of her all the time. Think of things I wish I would have said and remember the great times we had. I try to put the yucky stuff behind me - but I still know I have baggage from it to this day.

She was my first love - and she helped me be a better love to Mic.

Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name

My blog name : Me and She.

I stole it.

Kinda.

My mom's initials are M.E. She likes to call herself ME. Not. "EmmmEEEEE" nope. ME.

So, she thinks it is quirky and cute (which - honestly I think it is too) to say Me and He (the HE being my dad) when signing emails, or creating something artsy fartsy or whatever.

A little re-vamping... and we have Me and She. Suddenly it applies to her big gay daughter and her partner... but I will NEVER tell her that, as she would fall over. Not because of the gay thing, but because I have been pawning off as my own.

Truth's out. Just don't tell my mom, please:)

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts

Alright- without adieu, here is

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts:

My name is Casey. I am in my late thirty's yet I SWEAR I can't be a day over 19 and I have the hormonal acne to prove it. I have been with my wiff (not quite my wife- YET)Mic for hmm.. 5 years now. Woah. 5 YEARS! huh! We met in the most rooomaannntiiicc way.. online. And, actually, I was too cheap (read: broke) to get my own account, so I had a friend at the time contact her for me. Somehow she fell for that. We live in a little house in Milwaukee. I am a total coupon addict, and like sewing and folk art rug hooking. Gah... I sound like a grandma, don't I?

The reason I have decided to start this 30 day blog challenge is because Mic and I are licensed foster to adopt parents. We have been waiting for placement for 5 months. I didn't think I would be waiting for longer than 5 days. I think I have completely driven myself insane with over thinking every.single.thing.I.do. and SURE I am jinxing ourselves from ever receiving placement.

So - I need to keep myself busy.

Lets move on:
15 Interesting Facts:

1. I kissed my first boy at bible camp. That boy went on to manage bands that primarily plays in strip clubs.
2. I used to sell sex toys at home party's.
3. I used to work in a head shop.... and a porn video rental place...which also had tanning.
4. My first girlfriend was married. The relationship included him... for about 3.5 minutes... then she moved out.
5. I cry at almost every James Taylor song
6. I also worked in a funeral home.. as well as repossessed cars. I have had more jobs than you have underwear.
7. I never graduated college.
8. I didn't get my drivers license until I was 18... but my parents let me drive myself to work when I was 16.
9. I miss driving a mini van. I have owned 3.
10. The best memories I have of my dad are riding on the lawnmower with him cutting the huge backyard singing at the top of our lungs. "OH I WISH I WEEERRRRE... AN APPLE ON A TREEEEEE" .. and "AND IF YOU ASKED HER WHY THE HECK SHE WORE IT.. SHE WORE IT FOR HER LOOVEERR WHO WAS FAAAR FAAR AWAY!!!" We had an awesome set list.
11. I have some crazy thyroid condition that I thought, once I got under control, would make me skinny. That has yet to happen.
12. As much as I pretend I don't... I really do love camping. I just wish we had a trailer of some sort... it doesn't have to be fancy at all. Just up off the ground a bit.
13. I can't cook. Unless you want noodles, grilled cheese, or hamburger helper.
14. I haven't ruled out the possibility of becoming a nun - especially if Mic dies before I.
15. I am tired.

Okay-- I am supposed to put a recent picture here. I think I have to go take one... it will be fancy.. with my phone, don'cha know.

I realized I didn't take a picture last night so I took one this morning... For some reason it is making me laugh..

I am just going to have to do it. 30 days.

I know this may seem like a cop out of sorts, but I need something to let my mind escape the madness that I am sure I am forcing it into. My mind forcing my mind. That doesn't even make sense. That is how coo-coo I am feeling .

So, here it goes.. I am going to be posting 30 Day Challenge as posted on 2 Lesbians and a Baby. One entry a day following this schedule:

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you’ve traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you’re afraid of
Day 11-Favorite TV shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you’re looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you’ve learned
Day 25-Favorite memory
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture

I know. Like I haven't already gone over all of this. Get over it... unless you want to see me in a straight jacket.

gahimoverthis.

If you are from, have lived or now live in the north-- well, I can only speak for Wisconsin .. but I bet it is the same anywhere up here. You know that the 2nd week of March is PURE HELL.

We are coming to the end of winter.. there is still snow on the ground and it is freezing... and we can't spend more than 20 minutes or so in direct sunlight without a winter jacket and mittens.

What I am going through now, my peeps, is cabin fever.

I just need to hang on 1 more week or so. Granted, that doesn't mean we wont get a foot more of snow in April.. the chances are just cut down a bunch.

oh. And CW3 is coming on St. Patty's. I told her don't come unless you bring a kid. She thought that was funny. I was serious.