Thursday, May 7, 2009

Difficult.

I am trying so hard to stay positive and look forward to bright spots in my/our future.

I tell ya, folks - it is tough doing that through job loss. I have to keep reminding myself that Mic is an overachiever...she is really good at working. She was a totally loyal employee - and it all threw her for a loop. Things in her world have always been "GREAT!". This is such a reality check for her... I keep forgetting that people didn't grow up the same way I did. Struggle with the same things I did... (have had 5495 jobs- by my own doing- never fired) and have thoughts and dreams like I do. She and I are are SO SO DIFFERENT, sometimes I wonder how we function in a relationship - then something will click again... and I remember.

I think, especially in the lezbionic (har) community those of us in couples are always.. "PERFECT! GREAT! FANTASTIC!" etc. Are there any couples who aren't clones of one another? Who aren't afraid to say -- "sometimes I wonder" .. ? Or.. "today was that kind of day"...

I am not saying that I am not in love with Mic. I am not saying that we are on the verge of a fallout. I am just looking for others entrapped in reality. The day to day.

How we are different:

Me: I THINK ALL THE F-ing TIME. I OBSESS. I think I obsess about obsessing.. wait.. yes. I do. omg.. *you get the idea*

Her: She takes things as they come. "what is supposed to happen, will"

Me: I daydream. It is almost to the point of it being a sickness

Her: Total realist. Why daydream? We are living in the moment. The power of now.

Me: I can have popcorn for dinner 5 days in a row... and be totally okay with that.

Her: She needs something on a plate, warm, hopefully with a veggie as a side.

Get the drift? The thing I do love, is that she is totally okay with me being me. Crazy, dreamer, mind-changer, obsessive, flighty, laugh too loud, sometimes obnoxious, ME.

Now, I just have to figure out how a good side dish for popcorn.

*sigh*

Universe: Please let her unemployment gig be up soon. I want to hear my girl laugh again.

3 comments:

jilliebean said...

Ohhhhhh I soooo get it! Me and Toni are polar opposites about just about everything!

I hope the job thing turns around for you!

Amy said...

yeah, you know we are opposites too. It just works out. And can calm you down when you are too obsessed and you can "perk" her up. Everything will be fine. Maybe some alone time for a little bit. Like a day or two,

Baby Mama, Too said...

Yeah, I here ya on the opposite thing. Though S and I are quite alike in someways too, there are some areas where we are total polar opposites and it can be FRUSTRATING to say the least! and then we share a moment, say the exact same sentence at the same time or have an identical thought at the same time and everything seems right and familiar. From our first date things just felt "right" and "comfortable".