Much needed

Time away. It was great!

Mic and I made our way up north to Oshkosh for a fun filled weekend full of hand holdin', belly laughin' and irish music.

We started out stopping at Widmer's Cheese Factory in Theresa...




And picked up some delish local cheese... see the sky? BEAUTIFUL..

Then, we traveled farther up nort' and stopped at some weird place that sold over sized lawn ornaments. It was bizarre.. and is actually in the book "Weird Wisconsin". Something to check off of "The List", I suppose.

We then went to the Friendship Trestle Trail that crosses over Little Lake Butte des Morts to the Locks in Menasha--




It was, again, BEAUTIFUL!!!! We were able to walk some of the trail- and enjoy a nice quiet swing until it was time to check in. After a quick shower, it was time for Greg and Mo to pick us up and head over to the Leach Amphitheater for the first annual Oshkosh Irishfest.




We had a BLAST!!! Lots of great music, people watching, and of course conversation. We were able to make our way over to some local gay bars and then headed to bed.

This morning we woke up 4.5 hours early thanks to a shitty alarm clock in the hotel room, Mic was already showered and ready and I was about to shower before we discovered the error. I VERY QUICKLY jumped back into the still warm bed until we got up to meet some old friends for breakfast.

When we got home, Rebecca was already all moved in and prepared to fulfill her duties as worlds best housemate.

After reviewing the photos from the weekend and realizing we have a lot of photos of the tops of our heads (trying to get the location of the photos in the background..) or of Mic with other people -- (trying to prove we actually do have some friends)...that we need to travel with others, or invest in a tripod.

okokok *exhale*

So -

We went to the meeting. I can honestly say that it was a large room of people that never thought they would all be in a large room together. What a *ahem* colorful group. The topper was when the Pentecostal/Yearning for Zion (or some hybrid) couple mentioned they home school and the ex stripper with the fake long blond wig and glued on eyelashes and lipstick (with real glitter in it) looked at them like they walked straight off the crazy train. Kodak moment. I am sure they are all beautiful, wonderful, caring people.

The meeting was not at all informational. We have learned 238198% more from Anne and Staci. But, it was something we had to go to in order to get the applications. Now we have that under our belt. Mic and I are on the same page, and now we wait until Michelle's job finds her... then we move forward.

Still a wait? Yes. Moving forward? Absolutely.

Disturbing moment in meeting: the leader dude-- he WAS a case worker at one point.. mentioned that if you are fostering a teen and they practiced a religion that differs from your own, that when they come into your home, you have to allow them to continue to practice it... the disturbing part came when he added and I QUOTE "yanno.. I um.. I don't agree with all of that, cuz.. yanno.. I am a CHRISTIAN... and . you know.. "

I wanted to put him in his place, but I know that if I started to say something at that point, I would have gotten a "Mic's don't SAY ANYTHING"- Pinched Knee.

Good times.

Round 2.

Foster/Adoption meeting tonight. I am nervous- which I think spreads to Mic. I completely understand that in most decisions that a couple makes, one "wants it" more. I am that one. It isn't a bad thing. Just how it is. There have been decisions in the past where SHE "wants it" more. Tis life.. and I think it is good to be aware of that. That doesn't make me any less nervous. I feel like one good 'bout of cold feet could make her throw in the towel. We just have to get past this meeting.

The movers are coming today- I swear it is the best money anyone could spend. They are moving stuff all over the house to make room for Rebecca.

While Rebecca moves in, we are going to quietly slip away to Oshkosh to enjoy some time on the river listening to some Irish music.

I had three disposable cameras that I have had for YEARS sitting in a file cabinet. I never got them developed as I knew there would be pics on them of Lisa. I wasn't ready. Two days ago it just hit me that I was ready - that I wanted to get the pics developed.. that I wanted to send them to the appropriate people. So, Mic took them in. I am glad that I made the decision - there were pictures literally spanning years. There were many of Lisa. I wasn't at all as prepared to see them as I thought. I had a panic attack in the Walgreen's parking lot. over 2 years after her death and I am still going through this. I don't like talking about how much I miss her. More than I miss her, though- I just don't understand.

Upside.. there were some awesome pictures of the day Mic and I adopted Cosmo, and pictures of Amy and I at Lakefront Brewery and County Claire. Some of Anne and I while we were dating. It was like... "CASEY - THIS IS YOUR LIFE!" all within three rolls of old film that has been transferred from purse to bag to box to cabinet and has been living quietly in the back of a file cabinet just waiting for their day of glory.

1st one under our belt

Jack .. or the newly renamed MACK has a new loving home. I met the new owner at a city park up north and she is a lovely lady who has one other Boston, and makes homemade dog food for him. She brought a coat for Mack in case he was cold, and well.. yeah.. it was easy to say goodbye to him as he will be living the life of a king :)

Just a thought..

I have to read the obituaries every day. That is part of my job.



I have grown to dislike the ones that only list survivors ... names and names upon names of goddess knows who...it is almost like proof of the reason you need to get out of work to be at the funeral. SEE.. I am the great NIECE. I need to be there. You can't write me up. I have an excuse.

I want to be remembered by the person I was. The way I made people feel. What they liked about me.. and maybe even how I challenged them.

Today I read a GREAT one that said:

Thank you Debra for modeling infinite optimism and humility and for teaching us that the best things in life aren't things, to expect to be lucky, and the beauty of life's moments can be found in the poetry of lyrics. "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened "- Dr. Seuss

I don't know who this Debra was, but she sure sounded like a wonderful person.

EDIT: um. not that I plan on dying soon. It is just something I think about 8 hours a day. Don't freak.

*exhale*

Just got off the phone with the correct person to be in contact with regarding the orientation.

she was SO. NICE.

Signed us up for next Wed., is sending information in the mail, and their office is 10 blocks away from our home.

no more knot in my belly.

Have I mentioned...

That Jack is still with us?

He is adorable and all, but we are not a two dog family.

The lady in charge of the rescue told us to take more pictures of him and she will post them. She just doesn't understand why no one has shown interest.

Me neither. Cosmo is loving it.. he has a playmate, a nap mate, a pull on toy mate.

NO. NO. NO. We are NOT a two dog family.

how is it possible

that it is only an hour after the meeting was supposed to start and she is already home and blogging (you are asking yourself) HMM?

We got to the location of the meeting, I walked up to the desk and I explained what we were there for, and that I didn't know what room to go to. She promptly gave me a confused look, and my heart promptly dropped.

State Worker Lady - who I have been in contact both through email and over the phone -- the same one that gave me the dates and times and locations of several orientations-- oh--and the same one that said she would pass all of our information on to recruitment to make sure they knew we were going to be there... uh yeah.. her... well, she not only gave us the wrong location, but didn't pass our information on along, either.

So, one break down in a parking lot later - I have a new phone number to call of someone else that can help us in this portion of the process better.

*sigh*

I am trying not to be disappointed. One week to wait isn't the end of the world.. who knows.. maybe it is supposed to be happening this way. I am a little too pms-y for an orientation meeting anyways. yeah. that's it.

today

orientation meeting today. cross fingers please that some people in the w-k party wont get cold feet.

thanks.

oh duh.

the reason I titled my last entry as Preseed... I have some for anyone who is trying at home insems. It is a pricey item- and they are individually wrapped (there are four) for safety and freshness... if you ever thought about using it, and want to try -- for free... just let me know, and I will mail it to you.

Preseed.

As I mentioned in a previous post.. we are "cleansing". As I also mentioned in a previous post.. we don't have much. AHEM. I um, well, I need to re-phase that. We don't have A LOT. But, I seem to have the big chunk of what we do have... and it comes in forms of randomness.... pink flamingos... frames.. pictures.. pictures.. books.. pink flamingos.... ice cream molds... martini paraphernalia. UGH.

So, we are now going to move the spare bedroom into the the spare bedroom and move the office that was cohabiting in spare bedroom and eliminating huge desk, computer, flamingos, and just using the laptop.

Preparing for new roomie. Have I mentioned we are getting a housemate?

Oh- also.. got a knock at the door today, it was the next door neighbor with her year old kitchenaid in her hands, FOR ME. WHAT? YES. tis true. She got a new one.

Holy shit, that was SO NICE... and I don't know how to thank her, other then breaking it in and making a bunch of yumminess.

you are my shunshine.

What a beautiful day it is outside today! Or, at least it appears to be through the big picture window in the funeral home...funny how sad and beauty is separated by a thin piece of glass.

I got a frantic call from Mic today, saying... "WE HAVE TOO MUCH CLUTTER!!!!" (anyone who has been to our home would laugh at that comment - as we DON'T).. and "we need prepare for the next chapter of our lives!!"

I was totally fine with "the next chapter" , in my head I had it all worked out. Now, suddenly, I am nervous!!! EEP! ITS GOING TO BE A NEW CHAPTER!!!! Whatever the Universe has in store for is.. it is going to be new.

Exciting, scary, new.

Ga Ga for Gokey.

How sad. He was voted off tonight. Milwaukee is crazy for Danny Gokey... vote shmote, he is still our hometown hero. Him and Fonzy. "aaayyyy"

Zumba kicked my arse tonight- it was AWESOME. I think I am going to sign up for two classes/week in the next bout. Oh, and I think we are doing Tai Chi as a "together" activity for the summer session. I had to cancel my WW. I am okay with it, I know I will go back, but it is an expense we don't need right now. Not until Mic finds her job.

Just got word that Wisconsin just turned to a "non smoking state". I think this rocks. The Fox Valley has been non smoking for a long time now. The area is thriving just as much as before the ban- many people like going out even better than before-- smokers included.

monday.

Love my job, but I am ready for it to be Friday.

Today Blonde Ambition asked me what "hizzy" meant.

I, being the hippest-ish 35 year old within a 15 foot radius, knew what it meant... but I said that I didn't, and told her to ask someone else. I only hope someone else gets the giggle I did. I never heard a 60 year old southern woman ask that question before.

I just spent a solid 30 minutes looking at kids stuff on craigslist. I can't believe how much you can get there for very little!

Time to get the pepper plants in- frost tonight.

woopppiiieee.

aahhh..

The fog is lifting.

Life is good.

She had a revelation on Thursday ... now dubbed "Revelation Thursday".

WE (love that) are looking forward to the 19th and getting the ball rolling.

Crib has been saved, car seats have been donated.

Today we are off to church along with the rest of my siblings and their kids to surprise my mom and then share a meal.

Mic and I had a short talk about how this could be our last mothers day without being moms.

woah

four glasses of wine, awesome company of friends out on the deck eating avacado strawberry salsa, and a few games of blink.

great night!

Difficult.

I am trying so hard to stay positive and look forward to bright spots in my/our future.

I tell ya, folks - it is tough doing that through job loss. I have to keep reminding myself that Mic is an overachiever...she is really good at working. She was a totally loyal employee - and it all threw her for a loop. Things in her world have always been "GREAT!". This is such a reality check for her... I keep forgetting that people didn't grow up the same way I did. Struggle with the same things I did... (have had 5495 jobs- by my own doing- never fired) and have thoughts and dreams like I do. She and I are are SO SO DIFFERENT, sometimes I wonder how we function in a relationship - then something will click again... and I remember.

I think, especially in the lezbionic (har) community those of us in couples are always.. "PERFECT! GREAT! FANTASTIC!" etc. Are there any couples who aren't clones of one another? Who aren't afraid to say -- "sometimes I wonder" .. ? Or.. "today was that kind of day"...

I am not saying that I am not in love with Mic. I am not saying that we are on the verge of a fallout. I am just looking for others entrapped in reality. The day to day.

How we are different:

Me: I THINK ALL THE F-ing TIME. I OBSESS. I think I obsess about obsessing.. wait.. yes. I do. omg.. *you get the idea*

Her: She takes things as they come. "what is supposed to happen, will"

Me: I daydream. It is almost to the point of it being a sickness

Her: Total realist. Why daydream? We are living in the moment. The power of now.

Me: I can have popcorn for dinner 5 days in a row... and be totally okay with that.

Her: She needs something on a plate, warm, hopefully with a veggie as a side.

Get the drift? The thing I do love, is that she is totally okay with me being me. Crazy, dreamer, mind-changer, obsessive, flighty, laugh too loud, sometimes obnoxious, ME.

Now, I just have to figure out how a good side dish for popcorn.

*sigh*

Universe: Please let her unemployment gig be up soon. I want to hear my girl laugh again.

OHOHH..

How does one sleep when there are things like this to entertain you?

WHY have I never heard of this before???


There are tons of pictures... scan in... zoom out... pan around..

http://www.gigapan.org/searchGigapansList.php?sort=popular&page=1

Today.

May the 4th be with you.


:)

Gassy Ass.

Little Jack packs a wolloping toot.

eesh.

Today was a fantastic day - we went to Anne and Staci's to babysit their kiddos. I had a GREAT time- they are such good kids, and are blessed to be part of such a wonderful family.

What was really awesome was that we were able to sit around with them after they got home, and really quiz them about their foster to adopt experience. The information was GOLDEN. I really respect the information that a professional gives you- but what I REALLY want to hear is information from someone has gotten through their personal experience.

It is 9:08 and I am exhausted and entertaining the idea of heading to bed.