no more pills

I have been taking some pain medication and it is totally messing with my head.. and making me very nauseous. I am going to stick with ibuprofens. Tomorrow night Mic's uncle J is coming over to take a look at me. He is a spine specialist. I am not going to be going in to work again tomorrow as I just can't sit in a chair for more than about 2 min. I probably will be getting an MRI this week.

I am going to be missing belly dancing on Tuesday - and that makes me more upset than you could know.

This f-ing sucks.

I am laying on the family room floor.


My back went out in a bad way as I was carrying a very heavy laundry basket up the stairs.

I am so pissed off at myself. I shouldn't have allowed myself to carry that much.

I had to call my mom and tell her I wasn't coming out for Thanksgiving dinner. I wanted to go to my parents house so bad. My mom LOVES Thanksgiving (as it isn't a "gift giving holiday") and it was just going to be my bro and I for dinner.

I need more pills.

love.

I just can't say enough about Yelp... I am sure all of you (the three people that read this) know about it.. but I feel as if I have to pay homage just in case.

WWW.Yelp.Com - go there, register, and start reviewing anything and everything. It gets fun when you start to upload pictures and stuff, too. Everywhere I go, I Yelp. Its especially addicting when you first sign up and you are yelping every restaurant and garage, and public restroom you have ever set foot in. Clear your schedule and Yelp away!

Okay NONNY!!! sheesh.

I am back at work. *gulp* I need to find something to do with my life. Ever since high school I have wanted to go into AODA counseling. My mom talked me out of it, for reasons I will not go into here -- for someday she may read this, and it would mainly be my own opinion. I would never do it now, I don't have the patience or desire to go back to school. I do know that I feel as if I am floating right now. I have so many passions in my life... and I just kind of tinker in them. I need to really start moving.. trying.. going..

Its frustration making itself known.

Tonight I had my first belly dancing class with Jennifer from this studio.
I didn't talk to another woman there, but I can honestly say that I had a GREAT time.. and a GREAT workout! I love to move.. sometimes my body in the terrible shape that it is in, doesn't move like I want it to, and I think this will really help. I can't wait to go back. It was so feminine and beautiful, and I wasn't the most out of shape woman there (phew!)

neg-at-tory good buddy.

Not this month.

There is much to give praise for, though! I had a fantastic weekend! I was able to spend the weekend up north with Greg and Maurice. Sunday we went to the best pizza place in Neenah, Cranky Pats. We got together with Lisa's younger sister, Christina, and her boyfriend Murray, and their little one, Don. It was SO good to see them! Little Don is adorable and so is Murray ;) .. I hope that they will be able to come down to Milwaukee someday and hang. I told them they can come down, use our house as a B&B and I will take care of the baby while they do fun couple stuff. I hope they will take me up on it. Mic would love to see them as well. Monday Maurice and I hung out- and went shopping.. it was a lot of fun.. we had some good laughs, and it is always good to re-connect with him when it is just he and I. We can talk and share in a way we don't do when our SO's are around. I am sure everyone has friends like that. Tuesday I got up early, went to see my sisters new club, Lake Park Swim and Fitness..I wasn't able to make it to the grand opening, so it was really good to see her and hang and chit chat. She was really proud of her accomplishments, and I am SOOO proud of her, too! I also was able to take a trip out to the cemetery to visit Lisa's niche. It was the first time I was there since her death (almost 2 years ago-- I still can't believe it) and it was surreal. I am glad I was on a time constraint, as I probably would have spent hours there crying. She is still on my mind on a daily basis. Thankfully I had to jet off to meet my friend Amy (Nonny) at a place called Fire in Appleton. We had a fantastic time making some fused glass jewelry and I started a mosaic, I don't know what I was thinking choosing something so hard for the first time. I will go back and work on it again, I am sure! Otherwise I will just make some more fused glass. I am looking forward to seeing how that will turn out. Nonny and I have been friends since high school-- no matter how long it goes between our talks, we always pick up where we left off. I had a GREAT time-- and feel really lucky have been able to spend some time with her.

Today I am home-- and for some crazy reason (habit, I think) I was watching TLC with all the baby shows. I got MAD... turned it off, and started dillydallying. I do think that this past try was far more on track than the first. I also found out that one of my sisters had to use clomid after at year of trying. I think I may go to see her doctor in a few months if it still isn't working.

I have a big day ahead of me... laundry, work out, make dinner, tidy house (my parents are coming over tomorrow!), I love "at home" vacations.

hehehehhehehhe

Even BETTER than the Beyonce vid's are these...


Justin... The butt rub part is cllasssiiicc...

I can't imagine how much time that it took to move furniture out of rooms for these productions..

rawwrrr

ohh lala

This guy was on a talk show bustin' his moves. (with more clothes, of course)

EEP! Should I have known that many of the moves came from this dandy??

LOVE.


The truth is that I really wish I could move half as good as these dudes do. Enter in my fascination with drag queens.......

Casey Fierce

I am starting to get these moves down- though, its a whole different kind of phat when its being done by a white redhead about 5.75x's bigger than Beyonce.

I can NOT get enough of this video.

Not that we need it

But, I have never seen this link before... and I search for this junk like an addict going through the trash to find just one bottle with a little vodka left in it...

uh..

or somethin'


anyywwwhooo..


Not that women who are TTC need ONE more thing to obsess over...

Here is an interesting list that looks like it was compiled by many women..

This says A LOT

I swiped this from the Parker Martin Twin Odyssey - thank you, and I didn't really think you would mind ;)

It shall be done.

This time was MUCH better than the last. Funnier in ways-- but better. We did one insem... last night.

I used preseed, and was calm, had a great one-sided talk with God, and we are continuing on our Saturday.

Tonight we are going to Jalapeno Loco to celebrate a birthday with friends. Its 'lish. Then, I think we are going out dancing to a gay bar in the city. I am not tooooo sure how fun it will be without rum in my coke.. or that I will even dance with out the presence of rum. But, I do know that I will love being out with friends.

Here's a little story I've got to tell....

About three bad brothers, you know so well....

Beastie Boy's anyone...??

Really.. I have a story. First, read the last two posts....

okay.

Today I was feeling really frustrated because I feel totally out of control as ANYONE who is TTC knows.... I understand every woman's body is different.. things sometimes are wack.. whatever. I get it.
I emailed Mic with my frustrations- mearly to vent. She did what she does best, and brought me back to earth... in a very sweet way.

Fast forward to my drive home... I was talking with our KD on the phone, explaining to him everything that is happening, my frustration with timing, and all of that-- reassuring him that I am okay - that God has a plan-- that we just don't know what to expect.

I came home to pee on a stick.

I get this.


My first happy face.

So, correct me if I am wrong.. someone please! I didn't get a +OPK last night, nor this morning-- I did when I got home at 5:25, so, perhaps when we are able to get together with our KD tomorrow evening and Sat. morning, it may not be just for practice? Maybe it is actually okay timing?

Where in the HELL is my crystal ball? crap.

My problem

in life and in this specific situation is that I second guess what I know- and I need to hear it from others.

I now feel like I don't even know when I am fertile - I am remaining calm. .. I am okay... I just feel like I need to keep googling until I find my answers. I REALLY need to work today ! Uaarrggh.

We shall see...

Last night I had my first sight of EWCM. Sadly, no + on the OPK. I have EWCM still this morning-- no + on the opk... Frustration. I called the KD - he can't get together until Friday- tomorrow. I hope this is okay. I bought pre-seed, and I will just hope for the best.

I only started testing the opk once I saw the EWCM. Perhaps something that you don't want to share-- but how long does EWCM usually stick around? I hope I don't miss the boat.

oh Martha

Okay- I have another new favorite show. "Whatever, Martha!" is on the FLN .. its Martha Stewart's daughter, Alexa and her friend watching Martha show .. with color commentary. This episode is particularly funny- the part where the clown, Peanut Butter (wtf), rips off the super sticky tape from the girls face.... like a big Biore black head ripper outer.... and the camera pans to the friend sitting there laughing at her friends pain. .. now I can't stop laughing. This "clown", Peanut Butter is a big queen with a pointy hat..and a mirror that he stole from an abandoned gas station bathroom.. that brings pain to small children in the name of fun. Psycho.

WOW!!!

What an amazing, beautiful speech....given by a man who will change the direction of our country. This is the first time that I have been THIS excited about an election...change...hope..

It is exciting being an American this morning.


Maurice called twice last night... crying...saying he never thought he would see the day that a black man would be in the white house. His family from Trinidad has been calling him.... excited for Americans... for our country...and for the world.


Beautiful

Happy Election Day!

Today is such an important day... shrouded with saddness.

Yes.. votevotevote.. change the face of this country... equal rights for all.. yaaaahh WE KNOW.

BUT GET THIS...

I just read on another blog that they are writing Dr.Hahn's character off of Grey's Anatomy. WTF? Mic watches this show religiously... I watch the gay parts. Now... soon... no more gay parts.

I don't even know if I should tell Mic. It may ruin the rest of her day. She already had to wake up early to take care of the dog... now THIS.

Seriously, though- VOTE. I don't care WHO you are voting for (of course I prefer that you vote for Obama...) but, most importantly, take advantage of one right that we have.... to vote. I will be praying all day for those in California and in other states that they are voting on propositions etc that will directly affect the gay community. I pray that our adoption rights don't go away and that our marriages are still considered equal by the end of today.

I was in line at 7:15 this morning.. I walked up to the school on our corner to vote, and this is what I was greeted with.. a line that traveled from the gym in the lower level, up the stairs, out the door and to the street. I got misty eyed. It was honestly, the most beautiful way that I could have started my day. Uhh. oh.. minus waking up next to my gorgeous partner. Yeah-- that, of COURSE is first. The line comes in a close second ;)


I am officially 17 minutes late for work (it has been cleared with Blonde Ambition) and I am going to get bagels for the peeps. My friend at work, Rebecca, got mugged over the weekend. She is in a bad state. I don't think a bagel will cure her ick's... though, I think it may help a bit. She is one of my fave's.

Addiction and Ramblings.

I have an addictive personality. I know this- I think I have always known this. Addiction runs in my family, and I have to make conscious choices as to not allow it into my life. Well, for those who know me-- I have not done well. I am addicted to food. Hardcore. That is and always will be a struggle. I now have a new addiction: saving money...and monitoring how we spend our money.

By choices such as where we shop and when we shop... as well as coupons.. I have gotten our food bill down to about $50.00/ a week. That includes lunches... and we only go out to eat MAYBE once every two weeks. We do travel down to Woodmans to do food shopping.. and that is a bit of a hike, seeing as we have a grocery about a mile away from us. Woodmans is just so much less expensive. I also clip coupons. We don't buy what we don't need... and we don't overbuy...therefore what we throw out is minimal. What we buy is for two weeks. When two weeks are up, we are almost out of food... but not REALLY, as I could continue to make lots of stuff out of rice and soup and such. But we are, for arguments sake, out of food. It came from becoming aware of how much I am eating and what I am eating. If it isn't in the house- I am not going to eat it. When I used to grocery shop-- I would buy whatever I wanted-- junk food and all. Now, we just don't do it. The most junk food that we would have in our house would be weight*watchers candy and baked chips with salsa... sometimes there is low fat ice cream. When you compare it to what I used to have in my house- that is pretty darn good. Not to mention, buying all the crap really takes a toll on your grocery bill. Don't get me wrong- we splurge every once and a while.. but all in all... we are doing pretty well cutting WAY back on the junk.

SOO.. in today's Sunday paper, there are three sections of coupons to go through - and on top of it, in a grocery section it mentions that a grocery store down the way is having double coupon days- and you can use up to three coupons per item. This made me excited. Which brings me to the point of this blog--

I am a nerd because the thought double coupons and saving more money actually gets a rise out of me.

I believe that even if we didn't HAVE to watch our spending-- I would anyways. I think in todays world, everyone should. We have decided as of July to go down to one car- and look to purchase a used moped. We are shutting down the upstairs of our home this winter- turning off the heat, blocking off the stairs (in a very cute and eye pleasing way- OF COURSE) and when we have guests- it call all be reversed, and the heat turned on up stairs for their visit. I just wish this area was more commuter friendly - had better buses, even a train system - I would, no DOUBT, be on that instead of driving. One HUGE splurge we have is to take our dog to doggy day care. I don't understand it. Mic pays for it... I refuse to. I have talked to her, and we have come to an agreement that we will start taking him one day a week instead of two.... if and when I become pregnant - so we can save that money for baby-ishstuff. We have made some pretty dumb decisions in the past-- over spending on furniture and a tv. Thankfully in less than a year that will be paid off (0 interest, of course) and we can save THAT money, too. We both agree that we do not need "new" anything. We can live with what we have. The end.

Sadly, sometimes I do feel a twinge of jealousy when I hear that so-in-so just got a new whatever... and wish that we had that extra money to do that with...but it is a fleeting thought...as I realize that I have everything that I could want... and more than a lot of people. Like I have mentioned a million times before here, in conversations, in emails and letters-- that I am really blessed. I may have a different life than others, I may not make the same decisions that some do, I may not look as beautiful as others, but Lord, thank you for my life and all of my blessings.

I am done with my ranting. I have laundry calling my name - and then we are off to Mic's parents house for Sunday dinner. This morning did bring a surprise, though- when I got a phone call from my mom inviting us all out (Mic, Cosmo and I) for homemade soup. I had to decline- and it broke my heart as she, prior to me dating Mic, would never invite my partner into their home.



Only ten more work days until I am on vacation. wooot!