The move

I simply couldn't have gotten through today without my friends. Anne started out my day with a hilarious voicemail giving me support and telling me what songs it is good to listen to today, and what songs to steer clear of... GOOD: I Can See Clearly Now... BAD: Gimme One Reason (Tracy Chapman). I talked to her later and told her that I am not even going to risk it and will keep all music off all day. :)

I got a couple of calls from my friend Traci, all chuck full of inspiring words. Even my mom called to see if she could bring over some fruit salad she just happen to make -- but she wasn't sure I had a refrigerator or chairs to sit on. Apparently she thought I was squatting in some condemned building or god knows what. She cracks me up.

Nonny wrote me a wonderful email :) I miss you, chica.

Then best of all my girls, Angie and Rebs both popped in after work and they brought me beautiful hydrangeas and groceries to start me out. I love them. They are EXACTLY who I needed to see at the end of this crazy day.

Thank you girls---you all mean the world to me. I love you.

So *exhale* here I am.

So far... So good :)



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Today and Tomorrow

Today I have been packing since 8am. It is now 6pm. I did have a small break to go to the doctor for a pap. I wish that said "I had a break for a big glass of wine".

Unfortunately, that didn't go well. I will post more when I know more.

Packing has one more level to go. Tomorrow I will get up early and take the dog to school, and sort some things out in the garage before the movers get here at 9am.

I am keeping my chin up as well as constantly saying a prayer that God will push me in the right direction to make me the person I am meant to be. You would think that I, being the one who is creating this life change, wouldn't be saying THAT prayer.. because you would think I have that figured out. Honestly, I don't. I am following my happiness. Other than continuing with the foster process.. I don't know what that means.

I have been thinking more about fostering teens. It wouldn't work right NOW because I don't have a large enough space.. but I do think it is in my future.

Okay. Back to the boxes.

Hey- thank you again for being so nice to me. :) Your words give me strength that I need. Keep Mic in your prayers, too. Thanks xoxo.

Dear

People who I once called friends...

Stop putting ideas into her head on what YOU think the truth is. I haven't lied. I have been truthful. If you (who have their own effed up relationship) don't like my reasons... Guess what? I.DON'T.CARE.

I'm starting to get pissed off.

It is interesting when something like this happens and peoples true colors start coming out. I refuse to stoop to their level. I refuse to make waves. That isn't who I am.

Breathe.

This too shall pass.


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honestly...

the kind words that you all have left and the time taken to read my "woes" are so helpful.. you have no idea... or maybe you do.

It feels a little bit better to know that I am not the first person to feel the way I do.

The moving date has been moved up. I want her to be able to heal and if I am around.. that isn't going to happen.

I have to get into my apartment-- and get it ready for Caseworker III to do a home inspection. Lets get back on this roller coaster :)

xo
ciw

Over stayed

I think I am over staying my welcome. It is hard for Mic to move on with me here... I think I am going to pack up as swiftly as I can... and move on.

We seemed to have caught a groove. We were doing okay. I was feeling at peace. Then she went out with a couple of friends of hers last night. I am going to guess they spent quite a bit of time talking about it... as I got texts from them today, and so did a friend of mine (which I think was completely out of line). Mic wrote a letter, and she was far more emotional today than she has been in a couple of weeks.

I don't mind her talking to them, as she needs to talk to someone. But if they are putting things in her head... then I will be pissed. The text that I got from one of them said.. "don't think that the grass is greener.. because it isn't... you will regret this" I am thinking, are they all thinking I am leaving mic for someone else?!!?!??! That isn't the case. Not for a moment. The grass will be greener because *I AM PLANTING MY OWN GRASS*. Smoke that, sister.

There were some other comments made.. but I don't want to dwell on it. I can't. I don't have the time or energy for drama. That is exactly what I wanted to escape. Mic and I shared almost 6 years together... she knows a LOT about me... and I her. There is no reason why there has to be a drama- snowball starting. I wont stand for it.

I am ready for some normalicy. Just a little. Please. preeettttttyyyy ppuullleeeeezzzeeeee.