Monday, August 31, 2009

Dragging my feet?

I had a friend ask me today....

Where are you on your foster/adoption process? It feels like you are dragging your feet.

I assured her that whatever gave her that notion... it sure isn't true.

Heartbreak happens, set backs happen... things don't go always as planned...

Is it hard having a crib and other things in the garage waiting? Hell yes.

Is it hard watching other people with their kids knowing that right now there is not one thing I can do to get closer to me being there? Hell yes.

I could go on and on, listing the woes.... but I have to keep my head up, my thoughts positive. The universe has a plan and it is working itself out....Mic and I are very small players in the grand scheme of things.

We can't WAIT until the day we can tell our parents that they are grandparents (hers for the FIRST time!!)... we can't WAIT until we hear "mom" and knowing it is meant for us... amongst a million other milestones.

Am I dragging my feet? No. Good things come to those who wait. Patience is something I am not good at.. this is a real test to me, it is a lesson I obviously needed. I take it, and thank the universe along with so many other lessons that have come my way. It makes me stronger. I am okay with that.

I will keep putting things people so graciously give us in the corner, for now... and soon, there will be a day we can bring it all out with smiles on our faces and excitement in our hearts... knowing NOW is the time. NOW we are ready, NOW our dues are paid, NOW we can fully open our hearts without looking back.

It doesn't stop me from thinking about that woman who will probably get pregnant unexpectedly in December or so and pray she makes the right decision, knowing there is a perfect set of parents who will be as ready as they possibly can be to give her baby an amazing home...possibly a slightly crazy home with one off the wall mom and one that is totally level headed...

It is all part of the plan.


ps.. the new pic is of the Dennis Sullivan I took during the 1st Annual Milwaukee Weekend, Summer Edition, 2009. It didn't have all of its sails up- but I still thought it was kind of cool.

10 comments:

2momswithaplan said...

You're right... it WILL happen when the time is right. That's what I keep telling myself too. :) As always, I am here for you two... cheering you both on!

I love the picture of the boat. Great shot!

Jen said...

Awesome, positive attitude. Things are meant to happen when they are supposed to happen. That's my mantra nowadays.

I'm always rooting for you two! xoxo

P.S. - love the shot!

Adventures in Babymaking said...

It will happen friend. You know I'm right. You've followed our journey...an entire year of inseminations and one sad miscarriage. And now for some reason it is the right time and we couldn't be happier. I know what you're going through though. We had a completely decked out nursery during that whole year. Don't get down. Hugs, love and prayers.

Amy said...

My understanding was you had to wait until your roommmate moved..right?

C.I.W. said...

thanks gals.. it is nice to know I have supportive bloggin' friends ... I appreciate yous. (yeah. I said yous. I am from Wisconsin.)

Nonny- yes. that is true. I love having here here fer real. she makes me and mic laugh and when she does move, I hope it is just down the street.

Amy said...

So then, are there other reasons you are waiting?

areyoukidding said...

Well, you know your friend who said that was just checking in on you right? Making sure you are not falling into a whole, "Life is what happens while you are busy making plans" thing right? Cause it kinda sounds like you are bashing your "friend"...

C.I.W. said...

nope- not bashing at all! Why would you say that?

Amy said...

What's the hold up? Blog. I know you've been doing stuff. You are ALWAYS doing stuff.

CJ said...

I adopted (back when I was married) and it does take time. But you're right...YOUR child will find you when he/she is meant to. And adoption is a slippery beast. I have had one successful adoption and one failed...everything happens for a reason....