Thursday, March 5, 2009

I am sad.

Mic and I had a heart to heart. She doesn't want this as much as I.

My heart is breaking.

I don't know what this means for a future with a family.

For the last three days I have been walking around in a crazy daze, and my head is spinning. I have never seen my life without a child in it.

Frustration sets in.

I have been praying.. and just putting this in the hands of God. He has a plan for me. My life isn't ending. Who knows what the future holds.

13 comments:

Carrie and MJ said...

TTC is so emotionally draining for everyone! I hope you and DP can come to an agreement that you are both happy with. Take care of each other....

Two Moms With A Plan said...

Oh gosh! I am so sorry. Keep the communication going between the two of you. Like pp said.. take care of eachother. Do what is best for you first.

Bobby said...

Maybe you should both take a step back for a few days, then look at it again. Maybe things will look different then. I hope you can work this out.

Angie said...

oh casey...i'm so sorry. truly. i love you and i'll call you tomorrow on my way to the hospital.
hugs hugs hugs.

C.I.W. said...

Thank you all--

We are taking many steps back for many days. We have a lot of thinking to do. A lot of talking to do. It makes me sad, but like I sad-- God has a plan. I just have to trust in that.

Anyone wanna go get a margie?

Angie.. we will talk soon!

-ciw

Adventures in Babymaking said...

Hey Casey, After the first couple of BFN I thought maybe I could live w/o this too for a brief moment. I think we just get overwhelmed with the stress of it all. Don't lose heart. God will give you the desires of your heart.

Chris and Penny said...

sorry you guys are struggling with this issue. hugs. i hope it all works out in a way that makes you both happy.

Amy said...

Oh Casey! I'm sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts. I agree with everyone else, do what is best for YOU and Mic before adding anyone else to the mix. It's such a frustrating time when it should be a happy time. Love you.

Lizzie said...

That's so hard. I really wish the two of you the best decision-making possible, and peace with it. I hope you can learn the difference between weathering the disappointments and storms differently, and wanting different lives. You are not the first couple to deal with this. TTC is sooooo hard, it often takes over your lives and leaves one partner wondering what the hell happened and where did the good relationship go? I'm so sorry you are in a position of wondering about your life dream and your partner's support of that dream. I hope you find support in the blog community. You are so not the first to cross this bridge. Much love.

C.I.W. said...

you guys are so nice. It makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER to know that others know this feeling.

blech. this FEELING.

Honestly, though. Today, I am okay. We are going into a beautiful warm weekend. Mic and I are not doing anything with anyone. We need to re-connect. Lizzie, you hit the nail on the head. I obsess. A lot. give me a topic.. watch it happen. It is crazy. I am SURE she was like.. uh.. whathappenedhere?

*BIG HUGS* to all of you. No matter what, I will be fine. She and I will be fine. In my heart of hearts, I know that there is a reason for everything that happens. It will all unfold. I am sure of it.

Two Moms With A Plan said...

Just checking in on you. Hope all is well.

Dani and Tonka said...

hugs. xo

Don't Lick The Ferrets! said...

Life is hard. This topics is one of the toughest most people face. I hope you work it out and can both see a future together that is acceptable to you both.