aww..

you guys are all so kind.. thank you so much for your wonderful words.

I hope you all had a splendid holiday! I did :)

This week should be a bit less crazy-- and then we weigh in again the first weekend of 2011. We had to shuffle around meetings as the holiday's are/were both on Saturdays (our normal weigh in day) and WW only allows one official weigh in per 7 day period. So, we are all shades of screwed up.

The snacking has been tough - but, I am not going to beat myself up. I enjoyed my holiday, and it wasn't all about food. Next hurtle will be new years eve. I am, again, going to enjoy the day and night- and the time I have with my friends, and food restriction will not be the first thing on my mind.

Thanks again all my blogger friends.. new and old. Good luck to you in your final week of 2010.. and I can't wait to read how everyone is ringing in the new year :)

for realz?

So case worker II came this afternoon.

She wanted to go over all of our criteria.

The list started and ended with: you are looking for adoptive placement.

hmm. aannnndddd? (I said with more of a look than with my fabulous (haha) verbal skills)

Caseworker II went on to say that she was kind of wondering about that because we really would open our chances of getting an infant if we were foster to adopt.

BLINK.

"yes..." I say "we ARE SUPPOSED to be listed as foster to adopt.. just like the conversations we have had, just like the emails that I have sent all stated...." and again I went over what we are open to.

OH! she says....

Okay... well... we have these placements all the time!

ohmyf-inggodareyouf-ingkiddingmewiththis???????

Let me sum up the rest of the meeting:

I kept my cool
I communicated very clearly
I was kind
She listened and wrote things down
I gave her the names of our friends who have had a case that we are very open to mimicking
I explained to still keep us in the safeh@ven list.

I then tested all of our smoke alarms for her... and showed her where the fire extinguisher is.

She left by saying "okay! see you next month - or far before that with a placement!"

I really think we are on the same page now.

I really think this last three months have sucked ass now knowing that we have been on the wrong damn list.

Oh hi--- you again?

Tomorrow is our third visit from a caseworker.


Iknowitwillhappen....someday....I know you all feel it, too.


So, in my "keep busy to avoid obsessing" mode I have created a coupon organizer. Here are a few photos:













Umyeah...I am an 87 year old granny... Nonny has pointed this out more than once in the last month. ;) The categories follow the grocery store we go to. There are also spots for Walgreens, Target and three little spots waiting for the Babies-R-Us c@upons. The front spots are for our groupons, clothing coupons the back cover for hallmark and internet retailer coupons. boooyaaaaahh.


Wait until I show you the glory that are my crafted Christmas gifts. They really don't beat these, though.... handmade Christmas stockings made by Rebstar herself. I swear- her talent has me in awe more than once a day. Last year she also made one for Cosmo.. ADORABLE.







I love flamingos-- and Mic is the campfire queen... she knows us SO well.. awwwwwww

one dozen.

One dozen pounds lost. The last pound was a miracle, pure and simple. If I could have pooped sometime within the week prior it may have been two. TMI? Get over it.

The real reason for this post, though, is to talk about God.

And politics.

haha. not really - well sorta.

This morning we got up at the ass crack of dawn to go to an old catholic church on the west side of Milwaukee that Mic's parents belong to. Mr. K - who I affectionately call Popason only requests the presence of us one day out of the year. This morning it was it.

I don't mind spending my time at a catholic mass. I find it a beautiful ceremony, the music is nice, and there lots of ideas to meditate on. Not to mention the work out.. up down up down up...

I DO feel out of place. This is a very small parish, and everyone knows that Popason and Mamasita's daughter is gay-- and that I am her partner. No one has ever been anything but kind.... otherwise I wouldn't go back. But I just don't feel WELCOME. It isn't the religion - it is the leaders of it.

There is another blog I love to read called Jesus Has Two Daddies... very well written, and he often says things I wish I could. Recently the author has been struggling with his idea of faith and religion and where he fits in. There was a post.. you can find it here in which he shares one of the comments his reader left for him. It was beautifully written and I wish it were something I said. The commenter speaks about his father who, although always stated he was an atheist, was the most christian man he knew. His father would say "As soon as three or more people gather to form a church it stops being about the word and starts being about politics"

Isn't that the truth?

As I sat there in mass this morning- I couldn't help but hear this incredible message of love,faith, peace and social justice... I was so impressed with the words that were flowing out of the priest's mouth. A little voice inside of me kept saying "but really- you aren't welcome here with your partner-in the church leaders eyes you are a sinner".

I wish I were.

Mic and I talk about if our child will have a religious family. It is SO IMPORTANT to me that this child knows faith. Faith in SOMETHING. I would love to be part of a church- Mic is only sort of open to church and ALL of that "sort of" lays in the Unitarian Church- which I adore. I still can pray, I still can have faith and all views are welcomed and celebrated. But it is true.. do the politics drowned out the message? Would it be more beneficial to take our child to the park and on walks and talk about the miracles that the universe has blessed us with? And pray, sing, count our blessings and help others?

This is something that time will tell, and I am pretty sure there will not be a clear answer.

For those of you who have children... are you religious? How do you plan on teaching your child?

2nd time 'round

We got our second call...

As we were getting all set to call the social worker to tell her that "it's a go!"... I got an email from her stating they decided the 2 day old was too high risk. Birth mom had several other tpr's (very recently)... but no prior children with this baby daddy. So, they don't know what he is going to do. Um. Call him. Ask. Not rocket science.

I cried.

I am fine now. It will happen. This little spirit will find his or her way to our hearts and home.

There is a slight possibility that I have gained all 11.8lbs back in the last two days. Did I actually think I wasn't an emotional eater?

hahahahahahah.
right.

For now I look forward to my parents returning from Florida for the holidays. I miss them.