I am feeling optimistic. I have to believe I have made this decision for ME. For two weeks I have been feeling immense guilt. Mind and body numbing guilt.... and I didn't really get it. I didn't get why if I was the one making this decision, why I felt so horrible?
I have a friend who pointed out something very interesting. I grew up in a home that was often run by alcohol instead of clarity. Because of that, I know how bad/sad/disappointed/upset/frustrated/etc etc etc.. someone can feel. Because I spent a lot of time feeling those ways as a child, I, now as an adult, never want anyone to feel that way. ESPECIALLY at my hand.
Wow. Is that the truth. It hurts me tremendously when I let people down. More so than anyone I know.
Because of that-- I feel guilt because I let Mic down... a decision I made had a negative impact on her.
I am glad I know that information... now what to do with it?
4 hours ago