I had a friend ask me today....
Where are you on your foster/adoption process? It feels like you are dragging your feet.
I assured her that whatever gave her that notion... it sure isn't true.
Heartbreak happens, set backs happen... things don't go always as planned...
Is it hard having a crib and other things in the garage waiting? Hell yes.
Is it hard watching other people with their kids knowing that right now there is not one thing I can do to get closer to me being there? Hell yes.
I could go on and on, listing the woes.... but I have to keep my head up, my thoughts positive. The universe has a plan and it is working itself out....Mic and I are very small players in the grand scheme of things.
We can't WAIT until the day we can tell our parents that they are grandparents (hers for the FIRST time!!)... we can't WAIT until we hear "mom" and knowing it is meant for us... amongst a million other milestones.
Am I dragging my feet? No. Good things come to those who wait. Patience is something I am not good at.. this is a real test to me, it is a lesson I obviously needed. I take it, and thank the universe along with so many other lessons that have come my way. It makes me stronger. I am okay with that.
I will keep putting things people so graciously give us in the corner, for now... and soon, there will be a day we can bring it all out with smiles on our faces and excitement in our hearts... knowing NOW is the time. NOW we are ready, NOW our dues are paid, NOW we can fully open our hearts without looking back.
It doesn't stop me from thinking about that woman who will probably get pregnant unexpectedly in December or so and pray she makes the right decision, knowing there is a perfect set of parents who will be as ready as they possibly can be to give her baby an amazing home...possibly a slightly crazy home with one off the wall mom and one that is totally level headed...
It is all part of the plan.
ps.. the new pic is of the Dennis Sullivan I took during the 1st Annual Milwaukee Weekend, Summer Edition, 2009. It didn't have all of its sails up- but I still thought it was kind of cool.
2 weeks ago